tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4633480297352890314.post164079070395887185..comments2024-03-18T16:36:09.795-11:00Comments on Kinemalogue: We've been eating Gamera, part VIII: This is not a filmHunter Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10925220178171355473noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4633480297352890314.post-38706981830627784252014-09-23T13:14:40.125-11:002014-09-23T13:14:40.125-11:00Yeah, but I really do super-hate The Hunger Games....Yeah, but I really do super-hate The Hunger Games. It's not just a "this is a bad movie I saw once." What I feel toward that film is pure and transcendental.Hunter Allenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10925220178171355473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4633480297352890314.post-20551544040166189102014-09-23T12:48:43.193-11:002014-09-23T12:48:43.193-11:00As impressively thorough as your list is, I WISH H...As impressively thorough as your list is, I WISH Hunger Games was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Don't ever take up my line of work. I don't even get paid for this. I'm glad your list is so varied, though! Good work plumbing the depths of cinema for every last drop.Brennanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15399713449347559869noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4633480297352890314.post-68128671698653918622014-09-23T12:25:59.877-11:002014-09-23T12:25:59.877-11:00(All) that said, the "things you wouldn't...(All) that said, the "things you wouldn't believe" line probably does not refer to, specifically, Brennan Klein! You've watched some films that seem like... er, let's call 'em "doozies."Hunter Allenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10925220178171355473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4633480297352890314.post-78208606119646219602014-09-23T12:22:55.253-11:002014-09-23T12:22:55.253-11:00The Room has a basically cognizable plot with char...The Room has a basically cognizable plot with characters that aren't decidedly inhuman. Even Tommy! And as you say, it's not boring. Cinematically, it's shot and put together boringly and not very well, but it's all cognizable. It's just a really bad soap opera, and there's many worse things to be than that.<br /><br />Just to undermine my credibility, I'd like to point out that out some of the alleged worst films ever made, I think Manos: The Hands of Fate generates a really excellent atmosphere (admittedly out of technical ineptitude); Eegah has a neat story and Arch Hall Jr.'s musical number is in fact quite listenable; and I actually kind of love North.<br /><br />Anyway, I won't be bound to this, but here's five that would certainly be in contention for my list of the worst:<br /><br /><b>After Last Season:</b> apparently an actual Producers-esque scam perpetrated by a guy who reportedly got two million dollars from investors, then made a movie with random, non-actor college students that, in true Dogme fashion, largely takes place in an undressed warehouse. The plot involves telepathy: representing this is about 30 minutes of the film involves a slate-gray, narrative-free CGI cartoon rendered on vacuum tubes. It is the definition of an anti-film. I was able to see it thanks to Noah "Spoony" Antweiler. I managed to get into the window between when he riffed it and when he got a copyright infringement notice. I feel quite lucky.<br /><br /><b>Aerograd:</b> a Soviet film from the 1930s, revolving around Japanese saboteurs in the Russian Far East. Guess what? There is no grad, there are very, very few airplanes, and there is no story or characters to speak of. It's the slowest movie I've ever seen.<br /><br /><b>The Hunger Games:</b> possibly the worst action cinematography in the history of film, deployed in the service of a terrible story, brought to something like life, by performances alternating between weak and soul-crushingly bad.<br /><br /><b>Kronk's New Groove:</b> Patrick Warburton and other good actors besides can't make this watchable. Think about that, and weep. Few things are worse than an offensively unfunny comedy with super-talented people you love.<br /><br /><b>Howard's End:</b> it's probably actually just fine, but when I was eight my dad was supposed to take me to the only comic book store nearby, which was in the big city where he worked. I went in with him and hung out in the breakroom of his office for eight hours while he pulled an overtime shift on a Saturday. First, he said, we should go see Howard's End. By the time the movie ended, the comic book store was closed. I would not get to go there for another six months. I have forgiven my father. I will never forgive this film.<br /><br />Bonus! It's ineligible for consideration, but there's <b>Enter the Void</b>: I watched like three minutes of this once, and it gave me a headache that lasted three hours.Hunter Allenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10925220178171355473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4633480297352890314.post-86185192673690002112014-09-23T11:21:10.319-11:002014-09-23T11:21:10.319-11:00Holy crap ~ Although, taking this film into accoun...Holy crap ~ Although, taking this film into account, I would like to know your, let's say, Top 5 most soul-scrapingly terrible movies you've ever seen.<br />Also, I have an obscene fascination with The Room, one of the most transfixing bad movies ever created. The book written about it by Greg Sestero (who played Mark - the book is called The Disaster Artist) is possibly the single best nonfiction book I've ever read. <br />I'd be curious to hear what that one nice thing you had to say about the film was.Brennanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15399713449347559869noreply@blogger.com