Thursday, December 28, 2023

He was like Superman for Metropolis or the Flash for Central City, just maybe not as good


BLUE BEETLE

2023
Directed by Ángel Manuel Soto
Written by Gareth Dunnet-Alcocer

Spoilers: moderate

Tuesday, December 26, 2023

Blownapart


NAPOLEON

2023
Directed by Ridley Scott
Written by David Scarpa

Spoilers: inapplicable

Sunday, December 24, 2023

Put a little love in your heart


SCROOGED

1988
Directed by Richard Donner
Written by Mitch Glazer, Michael O'Donoghue, and Bill Murray (based on the novella A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens)

Spoilers: high, but also inapplicable, right?

Sunday, December 17, 2023

Beastly mode


NIMONA

2023
Directed by Nick Bruno and Troy Quane
Written by Pamela Ribon, Mark Haimes, Keith Bunin, Robert L. Baird, Lloyd Taylor, Nick Bruno, and Troy Quane (based on the comic book by ND Stephenson)

Spoilers: moderate

Tuesday, December 12, 2023

Should General MacArthur be concerned? No, I don't mean about Godzilla


GODZILLA MINUS ONE

2023
Written and directed by Takashi Yamazaki

Spoilers: moderate

Saturday, December 9, 2023

When it comes to the universe, we're all shareholders


WISH

2023
Directed by Chris Buck and Fawn Veerasunthorn
Written by Jennifer Lee, Allison Moore, Chris Buck, and Fawn Veerasunthorn

Spoilers: moderate

Sunday, December 3, 2023

Before Earth


65

Written and directed by Scott Beck and Brian Woods

Spoilers: moderate

Saturday, December 2, 2023

Entre nous


THE HOLDOVERS

2023
Directed by Alexander Payne
Written by David Hemingson

Spoilers: moderate

Thursday, November 30, 2023

In all of your dealings with me, you will do me the courtesy to conduct yourself as a dead man


THE DUELLISTS

1978
Directed by Ridley Scott
Written by Gerald Vaughan-Hughes (based on the short story "The Duel" by Joseph Conrad)

Spoilers: moderate

Saturday, November 25, 2023

Redundancy, redundancy, and redundancy


THE KILLER

2023
Directed by David Fincher
Written by Andrew Kevin Walker

Spoilers: moderate

Friday, November 24, 2023

Bros before Trolls


TROLLS BAND TOGETHER

Directed by Walt Dohrn (co-directed by Tim Heitz)
Written by Elizabeth Tippett

Spoilers: moderate

Wednesday, November 22, 2023

The transporter


THE LAST RUN

1971
Directed by Richard Fleischer
Written by Alan Sharp

Spoilers: see above? (highish, if you're a real stickler)

Sunday, November 19, 2023

Spirit Week: Do you know who killed you?


THE MYSTIC
1925, directed by Tod Browning and written by Tod Browning and Waldemar Young

THE THIRTEENTH CHAIR
1929, directed by Tod Browning and written by Elliot J. Clawson

THE THIRTEENTH CHAIR
1937, directed by George B. Seitz and written by Marion Parsonnet

Spoilers: moderate

Tuesday, November 14, 2023

Wednesday, November 8, 2023

American Gothic Week: Nine eternities in doom!


THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES

1971
Directed by Robert Fuest
Written by James Whiton, William Goldstein, and Robert Fuest

Spoilers: mild

Saturday, November 4, 2023

Disinherit the earth


KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON

Directed by Martin Scorsese
Written by Eric Roth and Martin Scorsese (based on the book Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI by David Grann)

Spoilers: N/A

Wednesday, November 1, 2023

An obscene and zestful irony


SUITABLE FLESH

2023
Directed by Joe Lynch
Written by Dennis Paoli (based on the story "The Thing On the Doorstep" by H.P. Lovecraft)

Spoilers: moderate

Tuesday, October 31, 2023

Census Bloodbath: A boy's best friend is his mother


BLOOD RAGE
aka Slasher aka Nightmare at Shadow Woods

It wouldn't be October without Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture and Alternate Ending, and so I'm ecstatic to present our tenth annual Halloween Switcheroo, wherein I get to chew on some hunks of bloody meat from his field of expertise, the 80s slasher, while I throw him some wholesome stolid science heroism from the 50s.  This is an abbreviated year, which is a shame, and while all things will pass into the nightnot this one, not yet.

1987
Directed by John Grissmer
Written by Bruce Rubin

Spoilers: moderate

Sunday, October 22, 2023

Spirit Week: The living and the so-called dead


THE DEVIL COMMANDS

1941
Directed by Edward Dmytryk
Written by William Sloane, Robert Hardy Andrew, and Milton Gunzberg (based on the novel The Edge of Running Water by William Sloane)

Spoilers: moderate

Friday, October 20, 2023

Spirit Week: Do you dare to insist that the practice of the occult science is a racket?


YOU'LL FIND OUT

1940
Directed by David Butler
Written by James V. Kern, Monte Brice, Andrew Bennison, R.T.M. Scott, and David Butler

Spoilers: moderate

Wednesday, October 18, 2023

Gimme some Sugar, baby


THE WONDERFUL STORY OF HENRY SUGAR and six three more

2023
Written and directed by Wes Anderson (based on the short stories "The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar," "The Swan," "The Rat Catcher," and "Poison" by Roald Dahl)

Spoilers: moderate

Tuesday, October 17, 2023

American Gothic Week: For every sound that floats from the rust within their throats is a groan


CRY OF THE BANSHEE

1970
Directed by Gordon Hessler
Written by Tim Kelly and Christopher Wicking

Spoilers: moderate

Sunday, October 15, 2023

Spirit Week: Discarnation


SUPERNATURAL

1933
Directed by Victor Halperin
Written by Garnett Weston, Brian Marlow, and Harvey Thew

Spoilers: moderate

Tuesday, October 10, 2023

American Gothic Week: Help! I'm being disorientated!


SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN

1970
Directed by Gordon Hessler
Written by Milton Subotsky and Christopher Wicking (based on the novel The Disorientated Man by Steven V. Francis and W. Howard Baker d/b/a "Peter Saxon")

Spoilers: moderate

Sunday, October 8, 2023

Saturday, October 7, 2023

American Gothic Week: The next morning he was quite recovered, so far as regarded his mere bodily health. Of his mind I say nothing, of course.


THE OBLONG BOX

1969
Directed by Gordon Hessler
Written by Lawrence Huntington and Christopher Wicking (based on the title by Edgar Allan Poe)

Spoilers: moderate

Wednesday, October 4, 2023

American Gothic Week: The discovery of witches


WITCHFINDER GENERAL
aka The Conqueror Worm aka Matthew Hopkins: Witchfinder General

1968
Directed by Michael Reeves
Written by Tom Baker and Michael Reeves

Spoilers: moderate

Sunday, September 24, 2023

Turtles all the way down


TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: MUTANT MAYHEM

2023
Directed by Jeff Rowe (co-directed by Kyler Spears)
Written by Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Dan Hernandez, Benji Samit, and Jeff Rowe

Spoilers: moderate

Tuesday, September 19, 2023

And they would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling mustache!


A HAUNTING IN VENICE

2023
Directed by Kenneth Branagh
Written by Michael Green (based on the novel Hallowe'en Party by Agatha Christie)

Spoilers: moderate, though if it's arguably on the higher side of moderate, I'm still not talking the details of ultimate solutions or anything

Tuesday, September 12, 2023

If it be now, 'tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come: the readiness is all


HAMLET

1996
Written and directed by Kenneth Branagh (based on the play The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark by William Shakespeare)

Spoilers: hey, remember that time Norway conquered Denmark?

Saturday, September 9, 2023

O beware, my lord, of jealousy; It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on


OTHELLO

1995
Written and directed by Oliver Parker (based on the play The Tragedy of Othello, the Moor of Venice by William Shakespeare)

Spoilers: presumably inapplicable

Monday, September 4, 2023

Why must the show go on?


IN THE BLEAK MIDWINTER
aka A Midwinter's Tale

1995
Written and directed by Kenneth Branagh

Spoilers: moderate unto high

Saturday, September 2, 2023

Middle-age wolf


WOLF

1994
Directed by Mike Nichols
Written by Jim Harrison, Wesley Strick, and Elaine May

Spoilers: moderate

Wednesday, August 30, 2023

Nay, these are virtuous and immaculate beings! I, the miserable and abandoned, am an abortion, to be spurned at, and kicked, and trampled on. Even now my blood boils at the recollection of this injustice.


MARY SHELLEY'S FRANKENSTEIN

1994
Directed by Kenneth Branagh
Written by Steph Lady and Frank Darabont (based on the novel Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus by Mary Shelley) 

Spoilers: inapplicable, right?

Sunday, August 27, 2023

My dear Lady Disdain! Are you yet living?


MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

1993
Written and directed by Kenneth Branagh (based on the play by William Shakespeare)

Spoilers: moderate unto highand I'm kind of serious, it's not one of the ones they make you read in high school, you know?

Monday, August 21, 2023

And yet, unless my senses deceive me, the old centuries had, and have, powers of their own which mere "modernity" cannot kill


BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA

1992
Directed by Francis Ford Coppola
Written by James V. Hart (based on the novel Dracula by Bram Stoker's Bram Stoker, Bram Stoker)

Spoilers: high?

Wednesday, August 9, 2023

Auld acquaintance


PETER'S FRIENDS

1992
Directed by Kenneth Branagh
Written by Rita Rudner and Martin Bergman

Spoilers: mild

Tuesday, August 8, 2023

Karmically, self-defense is quite cool


DEAD AGAIN

1991
Directed by Kenneth Branagh
Written by Scott Frank

Spoilers: moderate

Friday, August 4, 2023

Doctor Manhattan


OPPENHEIMER

2023
Written and directed by Christopher Nolan (based on the book American Prometheus by Kai Bird and Martin J. Sherwin)

Spoilers: N/A

Sunday, July 30, 2023

Kill all Ken


BARBIE

2023
Directed by Greta Gerwig
Written by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig

Spoilers: high

Wednesday, July 26, 2023

Ill-disposed in brawl ridiculous, the name of Agincourt


HENRY V

1989
Written and directed by Kenneth Branagh (based on the play The Life of Henry the Fifth by William Shakespeare)

Spoilers: N/A (why's there no play about the Siege of Orléans?)

Sunday, July 23, 2023

He's a mind-reading, shape-shifting incarnation of chaos!


MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE-DEAD RECKONING, PART ONE

2023
Directed by Christopher McQuarrie
Written by Erik Jendresen and Christopher McQuarrie

Spoilers: moderate

Saturday, July 22, 2023

Digitally release the kraken


RUBY GILLMAN, TEENAGE KRAKEN

2023
Directed by Kirk DiMicco (co-directed by Faryn Pearl)
Written by Pam Brady, Brian C. Brown, and Elliott Giuseppe

Spoilers: moderate

Tuesday, July 18, 2023

The Encyclopedia Brown: Those magnificent men in their flying machines


NIGHT FLIGHT

1933
Directed by Clarence Brown
Written by Oliver H.P. Garrett, John Monk Saunders, and Wells Root (based on the novel by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry)

Spoilers: moderate

Sunday, July 16, 2023

The Encyclopedia Brown: How about a little Service?


LOOKING FORWARD

1933
Directed by Clarence Brown
Written by Bess Meredyth and H.M. Harwood (based on the play Service by Dodie Smith)

Spoilers: moderate

Saturday, July 15, 2023

The Encyclopedia Brown: Hey, that's pretty progressive for... oh


THE SON-DAUGHTER

1932
Directed by Clarence Brown
Written by John F. Goodrich, Claudine West, and Leon Gordon (based on the play by George Scarborough and David Belasco)

Spoilers: moderate

Wednesday, July 12, 2023

The Encyclopedia Brown: But we are together, aren't we? And I doubt that you will scream, or alarm the neighbors


LETTY LYNTON

1932
Directed by Clarence Brown
Written by Wanda Tuchok and John Meehan (based on the novel by Marie Belloc Lownes and the play Dishonored Lady by Edward Sheldon and Margaret Ayer Barnes)

Spoilers: highish, inasmuch as I refer to the details of the real-life criminal case and the copyright infringement litigation resulting in this film's unusual legal status
Update 7/15/2023: I was way off on certain details of another film's legal status, which I have now corrected, though I find my initial error incredibly embarrassing

Sunday, July 9, 2023

Who knows, in a thousand years, even you may be worth something


INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY

2023
Directed by James Mangold
Written by Jez Butterworth, John Henry Butterworth, David Koepp, and James Mangold

Spoilers: severe, and I'm also going to let it run a little long

Tuesday, July 4, 2023

It's elementary


ELEMENTAL

2023
Directed by Peter Sohn
Written by John Hoburg, Kat Likkel, Brenda Hseuh, and Peter Sohn

Spoilers: moderate

Sunday, July 2, 2023

Smells like teen spirit


TEEN TITANS GO! TO THE MOVIES

2018
Directed by Peter Rida Michail and Aaron Horvath
Written by Michael Jelenic and Aaron Horvath

Spoilers: moderate, or high if you don't already know who Deathstroke the Terminator is