Cardboard Science: But he had glimpsed a dark swooping patch overhead, lighted by gleams of fox-fire redder than the aurora glow, and had heard a flutter of thick wings and smelled a whiff of corruption tainting the clean air

THE GIANT CLAW

1957

Directed by Fred F. Sears

Written by Samuel Newman and Paul Gangelin

Spoilers: high

Tubular! Radical! Awesome! Reaganomics!

BARBARIAN

2022

Written and directed by Zach Cregger

Spoilers: oh, severe

Cardboard Science: Mr. Joseph Young as himself

MIGHTY JOE YOUNG

1949

Directed by Merian C. Cooper and Ernest Schoedsack

Written by Merian C. Cooper, Ernest Schoedsack, Willis O'Brien, and Ruth Rose

Spoilers: moderate

Cardboard Science: When man entered the atomic age, he opened a door into a new world

THEM!

1954

Directed by Gordon Douglas

Written by George Worthing Yates, Ted Sherdeman, and Russell Hughes

Spoilers: moderate

Love you. Go Giants.

CAUGHT STEALING

2025

Directed by Darren Aronofsky

Written by Charlie Huston (based on the novel by Huston)

Spoilers: moderate

What about Bob?

THUNDERBOLTS*

2025

Directed by Jake Schreier

Written by Eric Pearson and Joanna Calo

Spoilers: moderate unto highish

Cardboard Science: Phantom marine mutations, death rays, utter nonsense

THE PHANTOM FROM 10,000 LEAGUES

1955

Directed by Dan Milner

Written by Dorys Lukather and Lou Russof

Spoilers: moderate

Cardboard Science: A million years of evolution with one bomb

DAY THE WORLD ENDED

1955

Directed by Roger Corman

Written by Lou Russof

Spoilers: moderate

The wailing

KPOP DEMON HUNTERS

2025

Directed by Maggie Kang and Chris Appelhans

Written by Danya Jiminez, Hannah McMegan, Maggie Kang, and Chris Appelhans

Spoilers: moderate

Fierce creatures

DANGEROUS ANIMALS

2025

Directed by Sean Byrne

Written by Nick Lepard

Spoilers: moderate

Indé film

APACHE WOMAN

1955

Directed by Roger Corman

Written by Lou Russof

Spoilers: moderate

Cardboard Science: I think I could stand it, except for out there—all that wasteland and mountains—it might as well be on another planet

THE BEAST WITH A MILLION EYES

1955

Directed by David Kramarsky and Roger Corman

Written by Tom Filer

Spoilers: moderate

Plutonian shores

CRIMES OF THE FUTURE

2022

Written and directed by David Cronenberg

THE SHROUDS

2025

Written and directed by David Cronenberg

Spoilers: moderate

The ultimate nullifier

THE FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS

2025

Directed by Matt Shakman

Written by Kat Wood, Josh Friedman, Eric Pearson, Jeff Kaplan, and Ian Springer

Spoilers: high

Nobody drives forever

F1

2025

Directed by Joseph Kosinski

Written by Ehren Kruger and Joseph Kosinski

Spoilers: moderate

Superman returns

SUPERMAN

2025

Written and directed by James Gunn

Spoilers: moderate

Walt Disney, part LXIX: You were just as dim-witted the first time you were here, you called it "Wonderland," as I recall

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

2010

Directed by Tim Burton

Written by Linda Woolverton

Spoilers: moderate

00 Week: The truth of the matter, Bond decided over coffee, was that he felt homesick for his real identity. He shrugged.

DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER

1971

Directed by Guy Hamilton

Written by Richard Maibaum and Tom Mankiewicz

Spoilers: severe

00 Week: We've got all the time in the world to talk about love

ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE

1969

Directed by Peter Hunt

Written by Richard Maibaum and Simon Raven (based on the novel by Ian Fleming)

Spoilers: severe

00 Week: Whatever happened, he would put up no resistance to his old skin being sloughed off him on the other side of the world

YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE

1967

Directed by Lewis Gilbert

Written by Roald Dahl and Harold Jack Bloom (based on the novel by Ian Fleming)

Spoilers: severe

Even now, when time has dulled the impression and made me half question my own experience and horrible doubts, there are things in that letter of Akeley’s which I would not quote

THE WHISPERER IN DARKNESS

2011

Directed Sean Branney

Written by Andrew Leman and Sean Branney (based on the story by H.P. Lovecraft)

plus "The Call of Cthulhu" (2005), written and directed by same

Spoilers: moderate

00 Week: The scent and smoke and sweat of a casino are nauseating at three in the morning

CASINO ROYALE

1967

Directed by John Huston, Ken Hughes, Val Guest, Joe McGrath, and Robert Parrish

Written by Wolf Mankowitz, John Law, Michael Sayers, Ben Hecht, Joseph Heller, Terry Southern, Billy Wilder, and Woody Allen ("based on" the novel by Ian Fleming)

Spoilers: high, I guess, but also largely meaningless

I'm counting on you, red, white, and blue

AIR FORCE ONE

1997

Directed by Wolfgang Petersen

Written by Andrew W. Marlowe

Spoilers: moderate

Do better

CAPTAIN AMERICA: BRAVE NEW WORLD

2025

Directed by Julius Onah

Written by Rob Edwards, Malcolm Spellman, Dalan Musson, Peter Glanz, and Julius Onah

Spoilers: moderate

00 Week: Planes with atom bombs don't get stolen in real life. Except that they do. You're slowing down, James... Don't give me that crap about real life. There ain't no such animal.

THUNDERBALL

1965

Directed by Terence Young

Written by Kevin McClory, Jack Whittingham, Ian Fleming, Richard Maibaum, and John Hopkins

Spoilers: severe

00 Week: Now you're talking. What are we going to do? Rob the end of a rainbow?

GOLDFINGER

1964

Directed by Guy Hamilton

Written by Richard Maibaum and Paul Dehn (based on the novel by Ian Fleming)

Spoilers: severe

Turning Lebanon into a Lebaoui

THE PHOENICIAN SCHEME

2025

Directed by Wes Anderson

Written by Roman Coppola and Wes Anderson

Spoilers: moderate

Killing strangers so we don't kill the ones that we love

BALLERINA

2025

Directed by Len Wiseman and/or Chad Stahelski

Written by Shay Hatten

Spoilers: high (for nerds, anyway; for non-nerds who can already guess what could go wrong with an action movie smooshed into a preexisting intellectual property, moderate)

00 Week: In his particular line of business, peace had reigned for nearly a year. And peace was killing him.

FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE

1963 UK/1964 USA

Directed by Terence Young

Written by Richard Maibaum, Johanna Harwood, and Berkeley Mather (based on the novel by Ian Fleming)

Spoilers: severe

You take your car to work, I'll take my board

THE SURFER

2025

Directed by Lorcan Finnegan

Written by Thomas Martin

Spoilers: moderate

You spend too much time on the Internet!

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE-THE FINAL RECKONING

2025

Directed by Christopher McQuarrie

Written by Erik Jendresen and Christopher McQuarrie

Spoilers: moderate

00 Week: Spelled like Yes?

DR. NO

1962

Directed by Terence Young

Written by Richard Maibaum, Johanna Harwood, and Berkeley Mather (based on the novel by Ian Fleming)

Spoilers: severe

Note: runs a bit longer than I'd have preferred, mostly thanks to the inefficiencies of getting a retrospective of a film series of this magnitude started

Well, not wholly unfavorable

A SIMPLE FAVOR

2018

Directed by Paul Feig

Written by Jessica Sharzer

Spoilers: moderate (maybe high although I presume you could get at least that far ahead of it)

Walt Disney, part LXVIII: When we're human

THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG

2009

Directed by Ron Clements and John Musker

Written by Rob Edwards, Greg Erb, Jason Oremland, Ron Clements, and John Musker

Spoilers: severe

Walt Disney, part LXVII: If the dog believes it, the audience believes it

BOLT

2008

Directed by Chris Williams and Byron Howard

Written by Dan Fogelman and Chris Williams

Spoilers: high

Walt Disney, part LXVI: Disney Princess enchanted tales

ENCHANTED

2007

Directed by Kevin Lima

Written by Bill Kelly, Rita Hsiao, Todd Alcott, Bob Schooley, and Mark McCorkle

Spoilers: high

They'd forget their precious gold if they had to dig their own

GOLD

1974

Directed by Peter Hunt

Written by Wilbur Smith and Stanley Price (based on the novel Gold Mine by Wilbur Smith)

Spoilers: moderate

Humphrey Bogart in Argument!... or Disagreement!... or Quarrel!... or Dispute!... or...

CONFLICT

1945

Directed by Curtis Bernhardt

Written by Robert Siodmak, Alfred Neumann, Arthur T. Horman, and Dwight Taylor

Spoilers: moderate (or a touch more than moderate, but, anyway, not high)

Walt Disney, part LXV: Keep moving forward

MEET THE ROBINSONS

2007

Directed by Stephen Anderson

Written by more people than I'd prefer to list (based on the book A Day With Wilbur Robinson by William Joyce)

Spoilers: high

When will you make an end?

THE AGONY AND THE ECSTASY

1965

Directed by Carol Reed

Written by Philip Dunne (based on the novel by Irving Stone)

Spoilers: Michelangelo did, in fact, finish the Sistine Chapel ceiling

I know you've seen enough of the Falls for one trip, but don't cross us off your list

NIAGARA

1953

Directed by Henry Hathaway

Written by Charles Brackett, Walter Reisch, and Richard Breen

Spoilers: moderate (maybe a teensy bit high, but one generally knows how these things go, right?)

No whammies

THE LUCKIEST MAN IN AMERICA

2025

Directed by Samir Oliveros

Written by Amanda Freeman, Maggie Briggs, and Samir Oliveros

Spoilers: moderate (though, in a grander sense, N/A)

Cardboard Science: You're a lovely girl, but lovely girls just don't run around worrying about non-existent sea monsters

MONSTER FROM THE OCEAN FLOOR

1954

Directed by Wyott Ordung

Written by Roger Corman and Bill Danch

Spoilers: moderate

Walt Disney, part LXIV: At least I saw the wild before it disappeared

THE WILD

2006

Directed by Steve "Spaz" Williams

Written by Mark Gibson, Philip Halprin, Ed Decter, and John J. Strauss

Spoilers: moderate

Or, The Misdirects of Mr. E

THE MYSTERY OF MR. X

1934

Directed by Edgar Selwyn

Written by Howard Emmett Rogers and Monckton Hoffe (based on the novel X v. Rex by Philip MacDonald)

Spoilers: moderate

The Encyclopedia Brown: I don't suppose I'll have to beg your forgiveness

CHAINED

1934

Directed by Clarence Brown

Written by Edgar Selwyn and John Lee Mahin

Spoilers: moderate

The merry-go-round broke down

THE DAY THE EARTH BLEW UP: A LOONEY TUNES MOVIE

2025

Directed by Pete Browngardt

Written by many many many people, including Pete Browngardt

Spoilers: moderate

Walt Disney, part LXXXIII: Failure, then learning, then death

MOANA 2

2024

Directed by Jason Hand, Dana Ledoux Miller, and David Derrick Jr.

Written by Jared Bush, Bryson Chun, Bek Smith, and Dana Ledoux Miller

Spoilers: moderate

Note that will eventually be removed: "part 83" is an approximate one, but it is where I believe this film will eventually fall once my not-so-diligently pursued retrospective catalog of Walt Disney animation is done sometime in the next couple of months; meanwhile, since I intended to be done with it before Moana 2 came out on streaming, even if I did not succeed in doing so, it's still best to treat it as just another entry in that series, something I've been sub rosa doing with all of Disney's new-release cartoons for the past two or three years anyhow

Cardboard Science: Not dead the way we understand death

CURSE OF THE FACELESS MAN

1958

Directed by Edward L. Cahn

Written by Jerome Bixby

Spoilers: moderate

Walt Disney, part LXIII: Make pishee

CHICKEN LITTLE

2005

Directed by Mark Dindal

Written by Steve Bencich, Ron J. Friedman, Ron Anderson, Mark Kennedy, and Mark Dindal

Spoilers: high