Buckle that swash, part VII: Fairbanks' new groove

THE GAUCHO

After a break, somewhat justified by a hard-to-get-ahold-of DVD, we at last return to the ongoing adventures of Douglas Fairbanks.  Would that the film itself were especially good.

1927

Directed by F. Richard Jones

Written by Lotta Woods, Dr. Arthur Woods, and Douglas Fairbanks, Sr.

With Douglas Fairbanks, Sr. (The Gaucho), Lupe Velez (The Mountain Girl), Eve Southern (The Girl of the Shrine), Nigel de Brulier (The Padre), Gustav von Seyffertitz (Ruiz, the Usurper), Michael Vavitch (The Usurper's First Liutenant), Charles Stevens (The Gaucho's First Lieutenant), Albert MacQuarrie (The Victim of the Black Doom), and Mary Pickford (Saint Mary)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Buckle that swash, part VI: A variety of shades of brown—all in glorious Technicolor!

THE BLACK PIRATE

Very close to the ur-text of cinematic buccaneering and color photography alike, The Black Pirate is short, sweet—and even a little bit revolutionary.

1926

Directed by Albert Parker

Written by Jack Cunningham, Lotta Woods, Dr. Arthur Woods, and Douglas Fairbanks, Sr.

With Douglas Fairbanks, Sr. (The Black Pirate), Billie Dove ("Princess" Isobel), Donald Crisp (MacTavish), Charles Belcher (The Nobleman), Anders Randolf (The Pirate Captain), and Sam De Grasse (The Pirate Lieutenant)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Buckle that swash, part V: Daddy, what did you do in the war?

DON Q, SON OF ZORRO

An acceptable offering of Fairbanksian whimsy—right smack in the middle of his personal bell curve.

1925
Directed by Donald Crisp
Written by Jack Cunningham and Lotta Woods (based on the novel Don Q's Love Story by Kate and Hesketh Prichard)
With Douglas Fairbanks (Don Cesar de Vega, and his father, Don Diego de Vega/Zorro), Mary Astor (Dolores de Muro), Jack McDonald (General de Muro), Warner Oland (Archduke Paul), Col. Matsado (Albert MacQuarrie), Jean Hersholt (Don Fabrique), and Donald Crisp (Don Sebastian)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Buckle that swash, part IV: The rarest treasure

THE THIEF OF BAGDAD

One of the silent form's most flawless beauties, this dream voyage through Arabian nights must be counted as the masterpiece of not only one but two great filmmakers—and even three, if you go so far as to count its director.

1924
Directed by Raoul Walsh

Written by James T. O'Donohoe, Lotta Woods, George Sterling, and Douglas Fairbanks, Sr. (based on The Thief of Bagdad, by Achmed Abdullah, in turn based on 1001 Nights, by Arabia)

With Douglas Fairbanks, Sr. (The Thief), Snitz Edwards (His Evil Associate), Julanne Johnston (The Princess), The Mongol Slave (Anna May Wong), Charles Belcher (The Holy Man), Brandon Hurst (The Caliph), The Prince of the Indies (Noble Johnson), The Prince of Persia (Mathilde Comont), and The Prince of the Mongols (Sojin Kamiyama)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Buckle that swash, part III: Men in tights, eventually

ROBIN HOOD

I know that silent films don't need to be slow or boring, and yet, sometimes, they are.

1922
Directed by Allan Dwan
Written by Douglas Fairbanks, Sr.
With Douglas Fairbanks, Sr. (The Earl of Huntingdon, afterwards Robin Hood), Wallace Beery (King Richard I the Lionheart), Sam De Grasse (Prince John), Paul Dickey (Sir Guy of Densborne), and Enid Bennett (Lady Marian Fitzwalter)

Spoiler alert: oh, get real

Buckle that swash, part II: More like F'artagnan

THE THREE MUSKETEERS

A descent into action-adventure sub-mediocrity, Douglas Fairbanks' second swashbuckler needed more than just indifferently-filmed swordfighting.

1921
Directed by Fred Niblo
Written by Edward Knoblock, Lotta Woods, and Douglas Fairbanks, Sr.
With Douglas Fairbanks, Sr. (D'artagnan), Marguerite de la Motte (Constance), Leon Bary (Athos), George Siegman (Porthos), Eugene Pallette (Aramis), Adolphe Menjou (King Louis XIII), Mary MacLaren (Queen Anne), Barbara La Marr (Milady de Winter), Lon Poff (Father Joseph), and Nigel de Brulier (Cardinal de Richelieu)

Spoiler alert: high

Buckle that swash, part I: He's crazy... like a fox!

THE MARK OF ZORRO

The action-adventure genre soars into life, midwifed by a really cut man in a silly mask, jumping and climbing all over every last damned thing he surveys.

1920
Directed by Fred Niblo
Written by Eugene Miller and Douglas Fairbanks, Sr. (based on "The Curse of Capistrano" by Johnston McCulley)
With Douglas Fairbanks, Sr. (Don Diego Vega/Zorro), Margueritte De La Motte (Lolita Pulido), Tote Du Crow (Bernardo), Sydney De Grey (Don Alejandro Vega), Noah Beerey (Sgt. Pedro Gonzales), and Robert McKim (Capitan Juan Ramon)

Spoiler alert: moderate