Great ape

KONG: SKULL ISLAND

Who'd have guessed that the best movie of 2017 so far was the one about bouncing goofy visual gags off the side of a giant monster?  Actually, I had an inkling.

2017

Directed by Jordan Vogt-Roberts

Written by Dan Gilroy, Max Borenstein, Derek Connolly, and John Gatins

With Terry Notary and Toby Kebbell (Kong), John C. Reilly (Lt. Hank Marlow), Corey Hawkins (Houston Brooks), Jing Tian (San Lin), Tom Hiddleston (Capt. James Conrad), Brie Larson (Mason Weaver), John Ortiz (Victor Nieves), Jason Mitchell (WO Glenn Mills), Toby Kebbell (again) (Maj. Jack Chapman), Shea Whigham (Capt. Earl Cole), John Goodman (Bill Randa), and Samuel L. Jackson (Col. Preston Packard)

Spoiler alert: mild

A bounty hunter picnic

THE HATEFUL EIGHT

It's a real, painful shame that it's not much, much better than it actually is—but Tarantino's new nihilistic Western surely remains entertaining enough to while away three hours with.

2015
Written and directed by Quentin Tarantino

With Samuel Jackson (Maj. Marquis Warren), Kurt Russel (John "The Hangman" Ruth), Jennifer Jason Leigh (Daisy Domergue), Walton Goggins (Sheriff Chris Mannix), Demian Bichir (Bob the Mexican), Tim Roth (Oswaldo Mobray), Michael Madsen (Joe Gage), Bruce Dern (Gen. Sandy Smithers), and James Parks (O.B. Jackson)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Brad Pitt ate my sandwich

KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE

The excess is even wretcheder and the provocations even more hollow, but they're in service of something greater anyway.  Sometimes all it takes is a few scenes to make a movie.  On rare occasions, it takes just one.  Matthew Vaughn and Mark Millar (more the former than the latter) have done it again.

2015
Directed by Matthew Vaughn
Written by Jane Goldman and Matthew Vaughn (based on the comic The Secret Service by Mark Millar and Dave Gibbons)
With Colin Firth (Galahad/Harry Hart), Taron Egerton (Gary "Eggsy" Unwin), Michael Caine (Arthur), Mark Strong (Merlin), Jack Davenport (Lancelot), Sofia Boutella (Gazelle), and Samuel L. Jackson (Valentine)

Spoiler alert: mild