You're not fast enough for me

THE QUICK AND THE DEAD

1995

Directed by Sam Raimi

Written by Simon Moore

Spoilers: moderate

Dreams in the witch house

DOCTOR STRANGE IN THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS

2022

Directed by Sam Raimi

Written by Michael Waldron

Spoilers: moderate

Apex predator all day

CRAWL

A fun, disciplined trifle, Crawl knows what you want and gives it to you reasonably good and fairly hard.

2019

Directed by Alexandre Aja

Written by Shawn Rasmussen and Michael Rasmussen

Spoiler alert: moderate

The amazing web of the spectacular Spider-Man unlimited, part III: "Dear God... kill Peter Parker"

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The amazing web of the spectacular Spider-Man unlimited, part II: Not the superior Spider-Man

In celebration of his fifth cinematic iteration, this series of reviews is devoted to the only arachnid I wouldn't scream at and kill with poison.  Here comes the Spider-Man! 

SPIDER-MAN 2

The bold new chapter in the Spider-Man saga does almost exactly what the first chapter did, except it does it much worse while looking much better.

2004
Directed by Sam Raimi
Written by Alfred Gough, Miles Miller, Michael Chabon, and Alvin Sargent
With Tobey Maguire (Peter Parker), Kirsten Dunst (Mary Jane Watson), James Franco (Harry Osborn), Rosemary Harris (May Parker), Cliff Robertson (Ben Parker), J.K Simmons (J. Jonah Jameson), and Alfred Molina (Otto Octavius)

Spoiler alert: moderate

The amazing web of the spectacular Spider-Man unlimited, part I: "Do what you need to with her, then broom her fast!"

In celebration of his fifth cinematic iteration, this series of reviews is devoted to the only arachnid I wouldn't scream at and kill with poison.  Here comes the Spider-Man! 

SPIDER-MAN

The classic holds up.

2002
Directed by Sam Raimi
Written by David Koepp
With Tobey Maguire (Peter Parker), Kirsten Dunst (Mary Jane Watson), James Franco (Harry Osborn), Rosemary Harris (May Parker), Cliff Robertson (Ben Parker), J.K Simmons (J. Jonah Jameson), and Willem Dafoe (Norman Osborn)

Spoiler alert: severe

To the or not to the

EVIL DEAD

"From the moment Mia gets evil and dead, this is one of the grandest of guignols you're ever likely to see."

2013

Directed by Fede Alvarez

Written by Rodo Sayugues, Fede Alvarez, and Diablo Cody

With Jane Levy (Mia), Shiloh Fernandez (David), Lou Taylor Pucci (Eric), Jessica Lucas (Olivia), Elizabeth Blackmore (Natalie)

Spoiler alert: moderate

The Evil Dead had almost no story and barely had characters.  Even Ash wasn't really Ash back then; Bruce Campbell was still growing into his chin.

My deficiency has since been rectified, but I didn't get a chance to rewatch the original before going to see the remake back in April.  Thus I had only my memories to which to compare it; memories corrupted by one of the sexiest movies of all time, the superior, and different, Evil Dead 2

Articleless Evil Dead 2013 hardly possesses the full ecstatic charisma of that latter film.  This remake is played very straight.  But The Evil Dead, however madcap, was itself a purer horror movie, at least in tone.  Alvarez' vision is a bit less garish than even that, and its tone is, at times, almost sullen.  This has nothing to do with the gore, which is phenomenal.  Rather, this movie thinks it has a story; it arguably has characters.