I know you've seen enough of the Falls for one trip, but don't cross us off your list

NIAGARA

1953

Directed by Henry Hathaway

Written by Charles Brackett, Walter Reisch, and Richard Breen

Spoilers: moderate (maybe a teensy bit high, but one generally knows how these things go, right?)

It happens ev'ry time

GIVE A GIRL A BREAK

1953

Directed by Stanley Donen

Written by Frances Goodrich, Albert Hackett, and Vera Caspary

Spoiler alert: moderate

G-d Week: Those who were not my people I will call my people, and she who was not beloved, I will call beloved.

THE ROBE

1953

Directed by Henry Koster

Written by Gina Kaus, Albert Maltz, and Philip Dunne (based on the novel by Lloyd C. Douglas)

Spoiler alert: high

G-d Week: She went out and said to her mother, "What shall I ask for?" "The head of John the Baptist," she answered.

SALOME

1953

Directed by William Dieterle

Written by Harry Kleiner and Jesse Lasky Jr.

Spoiler alert: high

The great beauty

ROMAN HOLIDAY

1953

Directed by William Wyler

Written by Dalton Trumbo and John Dighton

Spoiler alert: moderate

Walt Disney, part XVII: A boy's best friend is his mother

PETER PAN

Essentially everything that could be wrong with a mid-century Disney film rolled into a single package, to die might actually have been a bigger adventure than it is (though given that is only 75 minutes, I quite manfully gutted it out).

1953

Directed by Clyde Geronimi, Wilfred Jackson, and Hamilton Luske

Spoiler alert: he never grows up

Cardboard Science: Calculate your chances... negative... negative... negative...

ROBOT MONSTER

Somewhere between must-see surrealist psychothriller and complete Z-movie trash, I don't suppose there's any compelling reason why Robot Monster can't be both.

1953

Directed by Phil Tucker

Written by Wyott Ordung

With Gregory Moffett (Johnny), Claudia Barrett (Alice), George Nader (Roy), John Mylong (The Professor), Selena Royle (Mother), Pamela Paulson (Carla), and George Barrows/John Brown (Ro-Man Extension XJ-2 and Great Guidance)

Spoiler alert: high; and likewise high for Invaders From Mars (1953)

And, brother, she means any

KISS ME KATE

Close to, if not the finest example of its breed.

1953

Directed by George Sidney

Written by Dorothy Kingsley (based on the stageplay by Cole Porter, Samuel Spewack, and Bella Spewack)

With Kathryn Grayson (Lilli Vanessi/Katherine), Howard Keel (Fred Graham/Petruchio), Ann Miller (Lois Lane/Bianca), Tommy Rall (Bill Calhoun/Lucentio), Keenan Wynn (Lippy), James Whitmore (Slug), and Ron Randell (Cole Porter)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Cardboard Science: "What are these Martians?" "What are we?" I answered, clearing my throat

THE WAR OF THE WORLDS

One of the great science fiction novels becomes one of the most important science fiction movies—and so much is lost in the translation that what you actually wind up with is a very influential, yet (ironically) mostly sterile, genre experience.  So it goes.

1953

Directed by Byron Haskin

Written by Barre Lyndon (based on the novel by H.G. Wells)

With Gene Barry (Dr. Clayon Forrester), Ann Robinson (Sylvia van Buren), Lewis Martin (Pastor Collins), Les Tremayne (Gen. Mann), Charles Gemora (The Martian), and Sir Cedric Hardwicke (The Narrator)

Spoiler alert: they die from germs

Cardboard Science: There seems to be a wind blowing in these willows

THE MAZE

A soggy mush of a tale, that erupts into a climax so balls-out bonkers that I almost recommend it—but instead I recommend watching the first 20 minutes and the last 20 minutes and ignoring the middle 40.  I assure you that you will be in no manner lost, because that would require SOMETHING TO HAVE HAPPENED.

1953
Production designed and directed by William Cameron Menzies
Written by Daniel B. Ullman (based on the novel by Maurice Sandoz)
With Veronica Hurst (Kitty Murray), Katherine Emery (Edith Murray), Richard Carlson (Gerald MacTeam), Michael Pate (William), and Stanley Fraser (Robert)

Spoiler alert: it would've been moderate, but it was just too hard, if not too pointless, to talk about The Maze without talking about its ending, so after the grade, a SPOILER SECTION begins

Cardboard Science: No, Ray, I fear the spider because I do understand it

IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE

An interstellar incident with both sides to blame, but seen through self-loathing eyes; an allegory for overcoming intolerance, marketed largely upon its horror elements.  Like capitalism, it continues to fail to collapse under its own internal contradictions; unlike capitalism, it is pretty darned good.  Happy Labor Day!

1953
Directed by Jack Arnold
Written by Ray Bradbury and Harry Essex
With Richard Carlson (John Putnam), Barbara Rush (Ellen Fields), Charles Drake (Sheriff Matt Warren), Joe Sawyer (Frank), Russell Johnson (George), and Kathleen Hughes (June)

Spoiler alert: high

Blackmail by television

THE GLASS WEB

A weirdly prescient attack on the media—and the masses that consume it—that cuts right to the bone, but never forgets to provide the chills and thrills that selfsame audience so desperately craves.

1953
Directed by Jack Arnold
Written by Robert Blees and Leonard Lee (based on the novel by Max Ehlrich)
With John Forsythe (Don Newell), Edward G. Robinson (Henry Hayes), Kathleen Hughes (Paula Ranier), and Marcia Henderson (Louise Newell)

Spoiler alert: moderate—however, the opening shot is so great that merely discussing it constitutes a severe spoiler; so if you have any interest in cool movies, watch The Glass Web... for the opening shot must be discussed.

Masaki Kobayashi, part II: Even in 1953 Japan, rich people hated Obamacare

Masaki Kobayashi may not be the first or even the fifth name you think of when you think of Japanese cinema.  This series of reviews is dedicated to why this is wrong.

SINCERE HEART
(Magokoro)

If you're ever in the mood for a predictable but heartfelt (and superbly class conscious) Japanese melodrama about doomed love and the destructive absurdity of emotional repression, this is the weepiest thing you're likely to find that isn't actually about children starving to death in World War II.

1953
Directed by Masaki Kobayashi
Written by Keisuke Kinoshita
With Akira Ishihama (Hiroshi Ariga) and Hitomi Nozoe (Fumiko)

Spoiler alert: severe