Friday Week: Say hi to mommy in hell

FRIDAY THE 13th

2009

Directed by Marcus Nispel

Written by Mark Wheaton, Damian Shannon, and Mark Swift

Spoilers: high

Cimmerian Week, part V: Hey, maybe all this movie needed was a beard, and a little eyeliner

CONAN THE BARBARIAN

It may not be entirely devoid of any good points, but taken as a whole, Conan the Barbarian '11 is just about as bad as a remake of a great film could ever get.

2011

Directed by Marcus Nispel

Written by Thomas Dean Donnelly, Joshua Oppenheimer, and Sean Hood

With Jason Momoa (Conan), Ron Perlman (Corin), Rachel Nichols (Tamara), Nonso Anozie (Artus), Said Taghmaoui (Ela-Shan), Rose McGowan (Marique), and Stephen Lang (Khalar Zym)

Spoiler alert: moderate