They instructed me not to fart, but I defied them

ANNETTE

2021

Directed by Leos Carax

Written by Ron Mael, Russell Mael, and Leos Carax

Spoiler alert: moderate

Robert Zemeckis, part XX: Stop saying "Casablanca"

ALLIED

Emptier than it has any right to be, considering what it wants to be about, Allied is a misstep from a master.  And while it's effortlessly watchable, because the only Zemeckis live-action joint that wasn't watchable came out almost four decades ago, it's still pretty close to the least-good good movie he ever made.

2016

Directed by Robert Zemeckis

Written by Steven Knight

With Brad Pitt (Wing Commander Maurice "Max" Vatan), Marion Cotillard (Marianne Beausejour), Lizzy Caplan (Bridget Vatan), and Jared Harris (Frank Heslop)

Spoiler alert: mild

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow, Star Wars comes out—so let's go ahead and get this done today

MACBETH

Hey, on the plus side, at least a house full of people didn't have to die to inspire this version.

2015

Directed by Justin Kurzel

Written by Jacob Koskoff, Michael Lesslie, and Todd Louiso (based on the play by William Shakespeare)

With Michael Fassbender (Macbeth), Marion Cotillard (Lady Macbeth), Paddy Considine (Banquo), David Thewliss (King Duncan), Jack Reynor (Prince Malcolm), and Sean Harris (Macduff)

Spoiler alert: get real