Nobody drives forever

F1

2025

Directed by Joseph Kosinski

Written by Ehren Kruger and Joseph Kosinski

Spoilers: moderate

Ocean's Week: Screw Sinatra's hand

OCEAN'S THIRTEEN

2007

Directed by Steven Soderbergh

Written by Brian Koppelman and David Levien

Spoilers: moderate

Ocean's Week: It's not in my nature to be mysterious, but I can't talk about it, and I can't talk about why

OCEAN'S TWELVE

2004

Directed by Steven Soderbergh

Written by George Nolfi

Spoilers: high

Ocean's Week: I have a question. Say we get into the cage, through the security doors there, and down the elevator we can't move, and past the guards with the guns, and into the vault we can't open...

OCEAN'S ELEVEN

2001

Directed by Steven Soderbergh

Written by Ted Griffin

Spoilers: moderate

Once upon a time in Hollywood

BABYLON

2022

Written and directed by Damien Chazelle

Spoilers: high, sorta—I'm not going to actually spoil the plot, such as it is, but there's just no point in writing about this without writing about the last ten minutes, and I guess you probably ought to see it as unsullied as possible, so I'll try to section it off

Seems like I should be getting somewhere, somehow I'm neither here nor there

BULLET TRAIN

2022

Directed by David Leitch

Written by Zak Olkewicz (based on the novel Maria Beetle by Kotaro Isaka)

Spoilers: moderate

Census Bloodbath: Jock shock

CUTTING CLASS

And once again we welcome you, to our October Switcheroo

Where Brennan Klein deigns to review nice old sci-fi, like I would do.

But pretending to alliance, Brennan sends me 80s violence!

Cardboard Bloodbath, Census Science, demands psychic realignment.

Oh we have fun—requisite links.  Here's hoping that not too much stinks.

Poetry blows, J. Slasherfan thinks. Give me TITS and DEATH, that's my kink!

1989

Directed by Rospo Pallenberg

Written by Steve Slavkin

Write what you know

THE LOST CITY

2022

Directed by Adam Nee and Aaron Nee

Written by Seth Gordon, Oren Uziel, Dana Fox, Adam Nee, and Aaron Nee

Spoilers: moderate

Ad nauseam

AD ASTRA

Here's James Gray's masterclass on how to ruin a movie that was perfectly above-average until he got to it in post.

2019

Directed by James Gray

Written by Ethan Gross and James Gray

Spoiler alert: moderate

Neighbors

ONCE UPON A TIME... IN HOLLYWOOD

I never thought I'd be checking my watch during a Tarantino film, but here we are.

2019

Written and directed by Quentin Tarantino

Spoiler alert: high

Robert Zemeckis, part XX: Stop saying "Casablanca"

ALLIED

Emptier than it has any right to be, considering what it wants to be about, Allied is a misstep from a master.  And while it's effortlessly watchable, because the only Zemeckis live-action joint that wasn't watchable came out almost four decades ago, it's still pretty close to the least-good good movie he ever made.

2016

Directed by Robert Zemeckis

Written by Steven Knight

With Brad Pitt (Wing Commander Maurice "Max" Vatan), Marion Cotillard (Marianne Beausejour), Lizzy Caplan (Bridget Vatan), and Jared Harris (Frank Heslop)

Spoiler alert: mild

Norman and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

FURY

Fury is orchestrated misery.

2014
Written and directed by David Ayer
With Brad Pitt (Sgt. Don Collier), Logan Lerman (Norman Ellison), Shia LeBourg (Boyd Swan), Michael Pena (Trini Garcia), and John Bernthal (Grady Travis)

Spoiler alert: mild

These zombies are making me thirsty

WORLD WAR Z

An apocalyptic action horror science fiction fantasy thriller mystery thing, with practically no brains at all, but there is joy in all its unconscious pleasures, from its well-appointed set-pieces to its almost too-scathing social commentary to the most absurd and invasive yet shockingly appropriate piece of product placement of last year—and that's saying an awful lot.

2013
Directed by Marc Forster
Written by a lot of people, none of whom I wish to credit except Drew Goddard because I can remember his name offhand (based on the book by Max Brooks)
With Brad Pitt (Gerry Lane), Mireille Enos (Karin Lane), Fana Mokeona (Thierry Umutoni), Daniella Kertesz (Segen), and Peter Capaldi (WHO Doctor) (ugh)

Spoiler alert: severe