John Carpenter, part XXIII: Xenogenesis

VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED

In which we undertake a reappraisal of one of John Carpenter's lesser-regarded works.

1995

Directed by John Carpenter

Written by David Himmelstein, Steven Siebert, and Larry Sulkis (based on the book The Midwich Cuckoos by John Wyndham and the screenplay by Stirling Silliphant, Wolf Rilla, and Ronald Kinnoch)

With Christopher Reeve (Dr. Alan Chaffee), Kirstie Alley (Dr. Susan Verner), Linda Kozlowski (Melanie Roberts), Michael Pare (Frank McGowan), Karen Kahn (Barbara Chaffee), Mark Hamill (Rev. George), Thomas Dekker (David McGowan), and Lindsey Haun (Mara Chaffee)

Spoiler alert: high

Have you been a good boy or girl this year, and would you be mad if I told you that it matters a lot less than you think?

THE PRINCE OF EGYPT

Happy holidays, Judeo-Christians!  This was supposed to go up Christmas Day, but you know how it is.  Well, if you're from the "Judeo" part of that association, you don't, and this one's more for you, anyhow.

1998
Directed by Brenda Chapman, Steve Hickner, and Simon Wells
Written by Philip LaZebnik and Nicholas Meyer
With Val Kilmer (Moses), Michelle Pfeiffer (Tziporrah), Sandra Bullock (Miriam), Jeff Goldblum (Aaron), Danny Glover (Jethro), Patrick Stewart (Pharaoh Seti I), Ralph Fiennes (Pharaoh Rameses II), and Val Kilmer (YHWH)

Spoiler alert: he lets his people go

It will obsess you, but believe me, it will be a mediocre obsession

CAROL

Todd Haynes returns to the 1950s.  I wish he hadn't.

2015
Directed by Todd Haynes

Written by Phyllis Nagy (based on the novel The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith)

With Cate Blanchett (Carol Aird), Rooney Mara (Therese Belivet), Kyle Chandler (Harge Aird), and Sarah Paulson (Abby Gerhard)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Buckle that swash, part VII: Fairbanks' new groove

THE GAUCHO

After a break, somewhat justified by a hard-to-get-ahold-of DVD, we at last return to the ongoing adventures of Douglas Fairbanks.  Would that the film itself were especially good.

1927

Directed by F. Richard Jones

Written by Lotta Woods, Dr. Arthur Woods, and Douglas Fairbanks, Sr.

With Douglas Fairbanks, Sr. (The Gaucho), Lupe Velez (The Mountain Girl), Eve Southern (The Girl of the Shrine), Nigel de Brulier (The Padre), Gustav von Seyffertitz (Ruiz, the Usurper), Michael Vavitch (The Usurper's First Liutenant), Charles Stevens (The Gaucho's First Lieutenant), Albert MacQuarrie (The Victim of the Black Doom), and Mary Pickford (Saint Mary)

Spoiler alert: moderate

You probably didn't recognize me because of the red arm

STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS

If history's taught us anything, it's that it takes years for us to be able tell whether a new Star Wars movie is any good.  So, in this spirit of deep ambivalence, I offer a mostly negative review, then give it a positive score.

2015

Directed by J.J. Abrams

Written by Michael Arndt, Lawrence Kasdan, and J.J. Abrams

With Daisy Ridley (Rey), John Boyega (Finn), Oscar Isaac (Poe Dameron), Harrison Ford (Han Solo), Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca), Carrie Fisher (Gen. Leia Organa), Andy Serkis (Supreme Leader Snoke), Domnhall Gleeson (Gen. Nux), and Adam Driver (Kylo Ren)

Spoiler alert: moderate, high, severe? you've seen it already anyway, so you be the judge

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow, Star Wars comes out—so let's go ahead and get this done today

MACBETH

Hey, on the plus side, at least a house full of people didn't have to die to inspire this version.

2015

Directed by Justin Kurzel

Written by Jacob Koskoff, Michael Lesslie, and Todd Louiso (based on the play by William Shakespeare)

With Michael Fassbender (Macbeth), Marion Cotillard (Lady Macbeth), Paddy Considine (Banquo), David Thewliss (King Duncan), Jack Reynor (Prince Malcolm), and Sean Harris (Macduff)

Spoiler alert: get real

Kids these days—back then, we had to scrounge up and down the hellscape, just for a single tree star!

THE GOOD DINOSAUR

Note: I have used hedging language in the closing paragraph of this review because I have not seen either Cars film.  But whether The Good Dinosaur sucks worse is moot, given that it manages to suck on its own just fine.

2015

Directed by Peter Sohn

Written by Meg LaFauve, Bob Petersen, Erik Benson, Kelsey Mann, and Peter Sohn

With Raymond Achoa (Arlo), Jack Bright (Spot), Jeffrey Wright (Poppa), Frances Macdormand (Momma), Marcus Scribner (Buck), Maleah Nippy-Padilla (Libby), Anna Paquin (Ramsey), A.J. Buckley (Nash), and Sam Elliott (Butch), and Steve Zahn (Thunderclap)

Spoiler alert: moderate