Disney's Challengers, part VII: Your mother can't be with you anymore

THE LAND BEFORE TIME

1988

Directed by Don Bluth

Written by Judy Freudberg, Tony Geiss, and Stu Krieger

Spoiler alert: high, but 'cmon

Steven Spielberg, part XXXI: The Old Indiana Jones Chronicles

INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL

Hardly the travesty of the holy Original Trilogy that crybabies constantly say it is, the fourth Indy film is actually a rather fine adventure movie that does almost everything it does pretty damned well—but, unfortunately, does very little perfectly, which I'm afraid does set it decisively apart from its predecessors.

2008

Directed by Steven Spielberg

Written by David Koepp, Jeff Nathanson, and George Lucas

With Harrison Ford (Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jr.), Shia LaBeouf (Henry "Mutt" Williams), Karen Allen (Marion Williams nee Ravenwood), John Hurt (Dr. Harold Oxley), Ray Winstone (George "Mac" McHale), and Cate Blanchett (Col. Dr. Irina Spalko)

Spoiler alert: you saw it, and you probably hated it

Steven Spielberg, part XVI: And this time he's bringing his dad

INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE

With our director returning to his most popular franchise, we arrive at what is—in many important respects—the least of Indiana Jones' original trilogy, and the one that undeniably breaks from the tone and tenor of its two predecessors.  Yet somehow The Last Crusade makes a solid claim to operating on the same rarefied level, albeit in a very different way.  It claws its way back to the pinnacle by being the most personal to its maker—not to mention the most human in its achievement.  Yes, this is the Indy film that makes everybody cry.  Or maybe it just makes me cry—but I really hope it's everybody, just so I don't feel as ashamed as I probably ought to be.

1989

Directed by Steven Spielberg

Written by Jeffrey Boam, Menno Meyjes, Tom Stoppard, George Lucas, and Steven Spielberg

With Harrison Ford and River Phoenix (Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jr.), Sean Connery (Dr. Henry Jones, Sr.), Denholm Elliott (Dr. Marcus Brody), Richard Young (The Man With the Fedora), John Rhys-Davies (Sallah), Kevork Malikyan (Kazim), Robert Eddison (The Knight of the Grail), Michael Byrne (SS-Standartenfuhrer Ernst Vogel), Alison Doody (Dr. Elsa Schneider), and Julian Glover (Walter Donovan)

Spoiler alert: and for this one, you've seen it around sixty times, maybe seventy

Steven Spielberg, part XII: Adventure has a name

INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM

Look, I know.  All right?  I know.

1984

Directed by Steven Spielberg

Written by Willard Huyck, Gloria Katz, and George Lucas

With Harrison Ford (Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jr.), Ke Huy Quan (Short Round), Kate Captshaw (Willie Scott), D.R. Nanayakkara (The Village Priest), Roy Chiao (Lao Tse), Roshan Seth (Prime Minister Chattar Lal), Raj Singh (Maharajah Zalim of Pankot), and Amrish Puri (Mola Ram)

Spoiler alert: you may well have seen this a hundred times—but you have at least seen it once

Steven Spielberg, part VIII: The new hero

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK

No introductions required.

1981
Directed by Steven Spielberg
Written by George Lucas, Philip Kaufman, and Lawrence Kasdan
With Harrison Ford (Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jr.), Karen Allen (Marion Ravenwood), John Rhys-Davies (Sallah), George Harris (Capt. Katanga), Denholm Elliott (Dr. Marcus Brody), Alfred Molina (Satipo), Ronald Lacey (Maj. Arnold Toht), Wolf Kahler (Col. Dietrich), and Paul Freeman (Dr. Rene Belloq)

Spoiler alert: you have seen this movie fifty times