I'm counting on you, red, white, and blue

AIR FORCE ONE

1997

Directed by Wolfgang Petersen

Written by Andrew W. Marlowe

Spoilers: moderate

Do better

CAPTAIN AMERICA: BRAVE NEW WORLD

2025

Directed by Julius Onah

Written by Rob Edwards, Malcolm Spellman, Dalan Musson, Peter Glanz, and Julius Onah

Spoilers: moderate

Who knows, in a thousand years, even you may be worth something

INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY

2023

Directed by James Mangold

Written by Jez Butterworth, John Henry Butterworth, David Koepp, and James Mangold

Spoilers: severe, and I'm also going to let it run a little long

Cells (interlinked)

BLADE RUNNER 2049

I am so Soviet happy.

2017

Directed by Denis Villeneuve

Written by Hampton Francher and Michael Green

With Ryan Gosling (K), Ana de Armas (Joi), Harrison Ford (Deckard), Mackenzie Davis (Mariette), Robin Wright (Lt. Joshi), Sylvia Hoeks (Luv), and Jared Leto (Niander Wallace)

Spoiler alert: moderate

But then again, who does?

BLADE RUNNER

The great sci-fi allegory about God and man, or at least—since there are an awful lot of them—one of the greats.

1982

Directed by Ridley Scott

Written by Hampton Fancher and David Peoples (based on the novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Philip K. Dick)

With Harrison Ford (Deckard), Sean Young (Rachael), Edward James Olmos (Gaff), William Sanderson (J.F. Sebastian), Joanna Cassidy (Zhora), Brion James (Leon), Daryl Hannah (Pris), and Rutger Hauer (Roy Batty)

Spoiler alert: I want more life, fucker

Steven Spielberg, part XXXI: The Old Indiana Jones Chronicles

INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL

Hardly the travesty of the holy Original Trilogy that crybabies constantly say it is, the fourth Indy film is actually a rather fine adventure movie that does almost everything it does pretty damned well—but, unfortunately, does very little perfectly, which I'm afraid does set it decisively apart from its predecessors.

2008

Directed by Steven Spielberg

Written by David Koepp, Jeff Nathanson, and George Lucas

With Harrison Ford (Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jr.), Shia LaBeouf (Henry "Mutt" Williams), Karen Allen (Marion Williams nee Ravenwood), John Hurt (Dr. Harold Oxley), Ray Winstone (George "Mac" McHale), and Cate Blanchett (Col. Dr. Irina Spalko)

Spoiler alert: you saw it, and you probably hated it

Robert Zemeckis, part XII: The lady in the water

WHAT LIES BENEATH

Robert Zemeckis turns an abject lack of surprise into a decent-enough thriller, with one scene that's truly worthy of a master; but, otherwise, the very best that What Lies Beneath ever offers is only its sense of comfortable familiarity.

2000

Directed by Robert Zemeckis

Written by Clark Gregg and Sarah Kernochan

With Michelle Pfeiffer (Claire Spencer), Harrison Ford (Norman Spencer), Miranda Otto (Mary Feur), James Remar (Warren Feur), Diana Scarwid (Jody), Joe Morton (Dr. Drayton), and Amber Valletta (Madison Frank)

Spoiler alert: moderate, unless you've never seen a movie before, in which case "high"

Steven Spielberg, part XVI: And this time he's bringing his dad

INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE

With our director returning to his most popular franchise, we arrive at what is—in many important respects—the least of Indiana Jones' original trilogy, and the one that undeniably breaks from the tone and tenor of its two predecessors.  Yet somehow The Last Crusade makes a solid claim to operating on the same rarefied level, albeit in a very different way.  It claws its way back to the pinnacle by being the most personal to its maker—not to mention the most human in its achievement.  Yes, this is the Indy film that makes everybody cry.  Or maybe it just makes me cry—but I really hope it's everybody, just so I don't feel as ashamed as I probably ought to be.

1989

Directed by Steven Spielberg

Written by Jeffrey Boam, Menno Meyjes, Tom Stoppard, George Lucas, and Steven Spielberg

With Harrison Ford and River Phoenix (Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jr.), Sean Connery (Dr. Henry Jones, Sr.), Denholm Elliott (Dr. Marcus Brody), Richard Young (The Man With the Fedora), John Rhys-Davies (Sallah), Kevork Malikyan (Kazim), Robert Eddison (The Knight of the Grail), Michael Byrne (SS-Standartenfuhrer Ernst Vogel), Alison Doody (Dr. Elsa Schneider), and Julian Glover (Walter Donovan)

Spoiler alert: and for this one, you've seen it around sixty times, maybe seventy

Steven Spielberg, part XII: Adventure has a name

INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM

Look, I know.  All right?  I know.

1984

Directed by Steven Spielberg

Written by Willard Huyck, Gloria Katz, and George Lucas

With Harrison Ford (Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jr.), Ke Huy Quan (Short Round), Kate Captshaw (Willie Scott), D.R. Nanayakkara (The Village Priest), Roy Chiao (Lao Tse), Roshan Seth (Prime Minister Chattar Lal), Raj Singh (Maharajah Zalim of Pankot), and Amrish Puri (Mola Ram)

Spoiler alert: you may well have seen this a hundred times—but you have at least seen it once

Steven Spielberg, part VIII: The new hero

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK

No introductions required.

1981
Directed by Steven Spielberg
Written by George Lucas, Philip Kaufman, and Lawrence Kasdan
With Harrison Ford (Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jr.), Karen Allen (Marion Ravenwood), John Rhys-Davies (Sallah), George Harris (Capt. Katanga), Denholm Elliott (Dr. Marcus Brody), Alfred Molina (Satipo), Ronald Lacey (Maj. Arnold Toht), Wolf Kahler (Col. Dietrich), and Paul Freeman (Dr. Rene Belloq)

Spoiler alert: you have seen this movie fifty times