Cardboard Science: Little men come when anything goes

ATTACK OF THE PUPPET PEOPLE

1958

Directed by Bert I. Gordon

Written by George Worthing Yates and Bert I. Gordon

Spoilers: moderate

Cardboard Science: Dangerous minds

THE BRAIN FROM PLANET AROUS

1957

Directed by Nathan Hertz Juran

Written by Ray Buffum and Jacques Marquette

Spoilers: high

Cardboard Science: Five brave men go to probe the mysteries of Uranus

JOURNEY TO THE SEVENTH PLANET

Cardboard Science returns for 2016 with the worst old crappy sci-fi film we've so far reviewed.

1962

Directed by Sid Pink

Written by Ib Melchior and Sid Pink

With Carl Ottosen (Eric, some brand of mission commander), John Agar (Don), Peter Monch (Karl), Ove Sprogoe (Barry), Louis Miehe-Renard (Svend), and Ann Smyrner (Ingrid)

Spoiler alert: moderate

John Carpenter, part XXI: Do you like EC Comics? Well, I know someone who does

BODY BAGS

Hey, it's not like Tales From the Crypt was all that great, either.

1993

Directed by John Carpenter ("The Gas Station," "Hair"), Tobe Hooper ("The Eye"), and Larry Sulkis (something, apparently)

Written by Billy Brown and Dan Angel

With...

"The Gas Station": Alex Datcher (Anne) and Robert Carradine (Bill)

"Hair": Stacey Keach (Richard Coberts), Sheena Easton (Megan), and David Warner (Dr. Lock)

"The Eye": Mark Hamill (Brent Matthews), Twiggy (Cathy Matthews), and John Agar (Dr. Lang)

...along with your host, John Carpenter (The Coroner)

Spoiler alert: mild

Cardboard Science: The movie is nothing but ropes and asses!

THE MOLE PEOPLE

An archaeological adventure with more on its mind than it seems, The Mole People wasn't consigned to the dustbin of cinematic history for no reason, but it deserves to be pulled back out, for it offers not just the lowest-fi kind of genre fun, but a good message.

1956
Directed by Virgil Vogel
Written by Laszlo Gorog
With John Agar (Dr. Roger Bentley), Hugh Beaumont (Dr. Jud Bellamin), Nestor Paiva (Prof. Etienne LaFarge), Phil Chambers (Dr. Paul Stuart), Rodd Redwing (Nazar), Alan Napier (Elinu, the High Priest), Cynthia Patrick (Adad), and Dr. Frank C. Baxter (Dr. Frank C. Baxter)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Cardboard Science: Still fearing the spider

TARANTULA

GODDAM SPIDER

1955
Directed by Jack Arnold
Written by Martin Berkeley, Robert M. Fresco, and Jack Arnold
With John Agar (Dr. Matt Hastings), Mara Corday (Stephanie "Steve" Clayton), Leo Carroll (Prof. Gerald Deemer), Nestor Paiva (Sheriff Jack Andrews), and Tamara (herself)

Spoiler alert: severe

Cardboard Science: A film by Gabriela Cowperthwaite

REVENGE OF THE CREATURE

What if... King Kong were six foot even, and he had to return to the water every three minutes to breathe? Why, it would be just terrible.

1955
Directed by Jack Arnold
Written by Martin Berkeley and William Alland
With John Agar (Prof. Clete Ferguson), Lori Nelson (Helen Dobson), Nestor Paiva (Lucas), Tom Hennessey (the Gill-Man on land), and Ricou Browning (the Gill-Man underwater)

Spoiler alert: high