I'm a genie in a bottle, you've got to rub me the right way

THREE THOUSAND YEARS OF LONGING

2022

Directed by George Miller

Written by Augusta Gore and George Miller (based on the short story "The Djinn In the Nightingale's Eye" by A.S. Bryant")

Spoilers: moderate

Just try to make it sound like you wrote it that way on purpose

THE FRENCH DISPATCH OF THE LIBERTY, KANSAS EVENING SUN

2021

Directed by Wes Anderson

Written by Roman Coppola, Hugo Guinness, Jason Schwartzman, and Wes Anderson

Spoilers: moderate

Mother, may I?

SUSPIRIA

Stuffed, maybe overstuffed, with ideas and symbols and bids at meaning, the most important thing is that Suspiria does terrible things to you, but you realize you really like it.

2018

Directed by Luca Guadagnino

Written by David Kajganich

With Dakota Johnson (Susie Bannion), Elena Fokina (Olga), Mia Goth (Sara), Chloe Grace Moretz (Patricia), Jessica Harper (Anke), Tilda Swinton (Madame Blance, Dr. Klemperer, et al), and Malgorzata Bela (Mrs. Bannion)

Spoiler alert: mild—well, severe for Suspiria '77, but come on now

Lost horizon

DOCTOR STRANGE

There is so much in Doctor Strange that's almost great, and you wish it could just drag itself over that line; and, then, in the end, it finally manages to drag itself right onto that line, leaving you slightly confused about exactly how to score it.

2016

Directed by Scott Derrickson

Written by Jon Spaihts, C. Robert Cargill, and Scott Derrickson

With Benedict Cumberbatch (Dr. Stephen Strange), Chiwetel Ejiofor (Mordo), Tilda Swinton (The Ancient One), Benedict Wong (Wong), Rachel McAdams (Dr. Christine Palmer), and Mads Mikkelsen (Kaecilius)

Spoiler alert: moderate

The stars are out tonight

ONLY LOVERS LEFT ALIVE

The film that teaches that suicide is never an option, at least not if you're married to Tilda Swinton—so, obviously, something we already knew.  Nonetheless, it's rather enjoyable.

2013 (them)/2014 (us)
Written and directed by Jim Jarmusch
With Tilda Swinton (Eve), Tom Hiddleston (Adam), Mia Wasikowska (Ava), and John Hurt (Kit)

Spoiler alert: mild