Yeah

JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 4

2023

Directed by Chad Stahelski

Written by Shay Hatten and Michael Finch

Spoilers: moderate

They want us up in their gray space pushing their WTF buttons

THE MATRIX RESURRECTIONS

2021

Directed by Lana Wachowski

Written by David Mitchell, Aleksandar Hemon, and Lana Wachowski

Spoilers: severe

God gave rock 'n' roll to you

BILL & TED FACE THE MUSIC

2020

Directed by Dean Parisot

Written by Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon

Spoiler alert: moderate

Under the Table and dreaming

JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 3—PARABELLUM

Show of hands, who loves the John Wick movies for their conversations?  Oh, really?  Way more than I would've thought.

2019

Directed by Chad Stahleski

Written by Derek Holstad, Shay Hatten, Chris Collins, and Mark Abrams

Spoiler alert: mild

Something robust

JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2

A worthy-as-hell sequel to a movie that I can never quite tell if I slightly underrated or not.

2017

Directed by Chad Stahelski

Written by Derek Kolstad

With Keanu Reeves (John Wick), Ian McShane (Winston), Lance Reddick (Charon), John Leguizamo (Aurelio), Laurence Fishburne (The Bowery King), Peter Stormare (Abram Tarasov), Claudia Gerini (Gianna D'Antonio), Common (Cassian), Ruby Rose (Ares), and Riccardo Scamarcio (Santino D'Antonio)

Spoiler alert: I think moderate, but reasonable minds may differ

Party on, dudes

BILL & TED'S BOGUS JOURNEY

Station.

1991

Directed by Peter Hewitt

Written by Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon

With Keanu Reeves (Ted "Theodore" Logan/Evil Ted), Alex Winter (Bill S. Preston, Esq./Evil Bill/Granny S. Preston, Esq.), William Sadler (Death), Ed Gale/Arturo Gil/Tom Alland/Neil Ross (Station), Annette Azcuy (Princess Elizabeth), Sarah Trigger (Princess Joanna), J. Patrick McNamara (Mr. Preston), Hal Landon Jr. (Capt. Logan), Amy Stoch (Missy Logan), Pam Grier (Mrs. Wardroe), Jim Martin (Sir James Martin), George Carlin (Rufus), and Joss Ackland (De Nomolos)

Spoiler alert: high, though once again the Bill and Ted franchise really is a snake eating its own tail

Be excellent to each other

BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE

A gloriously dumb comedy with heart to spare and smarter sci-fi underpinnings than it really ought to have, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure shall always remain one of the enduring classics of its era, even when the future the Stallyns promised us seems farther away than ever.

1989

Directed by Stephen Herek

Written by Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon

With Alex Winter (Bill S. Preston, Esq.), Keanu Reeves (Ted "Theodore" Logan), Terry Camelleri (Napoleon Bonaparte), Dan Shor (Billy the Kid), Tony Steedman (Socrates), Rod Loomis (Sigmund Freud), Al Leong (Genghis Khan), Jane Wiedlin (Jeanne d'Arc), Robert Barron (Abraham Lincoln), Clifford David (Beethoven), Hal Landon Jr. (Capt. Logan), J. Patrick McNamara (Mr. Preston), Amy Stoch (Missy Preston), and George Carlin (Rufus)

Spoiler alert: delightfully auto-spoiling, really, but "high"

But a cat would have run away and survived, obviating much bloodshed

JOHN WICK

John Wick is not quite great, but much of it is almost perfect, and it's so damned close to greatness, it makes me want to explode.  Just like Keanu's head there.

2014
Directed by Chad Stahleski and David Leitch
Written by Derek Kolstad
With Keanu Reeves (John Wick), Bridget Moynahan (Helen Wick), Michael Nyqvist (Viggo Tarasov), Alfie Allen (Iosef Tarasov), Willem Dafoe (Marcus), Ian McShane (Winston), Lance Reddick (Charon), John Leguizamo (Aureilo), and Adrianne Palicki (Ms. Perkins)

Spoiler alert: mild

The day Hawaii bombed Japan?

47 RONIN

A lethargic if occasionally lovely slog through the legend of the forty-seven ronin, as tarted up by $175 million worth of Hollywood fantasy, and even though I know that I'm supposed to be totally offended by that, the fanciful nonsense parts are also by a huge margin the best parts.

2013
Directed by Carl Rinsch
Written by Chris Morgan, Hossein Amini, and Walter Hamada
With Keanu Reeves (Kai), Kikuchi Rinko (The Witch), Asano Todanobu (Kira), Shibasaki Ko (Rika), Sanada Hiroyuki (Oishi), Yanamoto Takato (The Fat One), Akanishi Jin (The Young One), Sogabe Hiroshi (The Mean One), and Zombie Boy (Sir Not Appearing In This Film)

Spoiler alert: severe