And the sixth element, it turns out, is poop

VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS

The Death of Story continues, but Valerian offers more than story.  It gives us a heaping helping of gorgeously wonderful (and gloriously stupid) visuals, too.  You can call it good, if you want to; but it's sort of beyond that type of categorization.

2017

Written and directed by Luc Besson

With Dane DeHaan (Valerian), Cara Delevingne (Laureline), Sasha Luss (Princess Liho-Minaa), Rihanna (Bubble), Ethan Hawke (Jolly the Pimp), John Goodman (Igon Siruss), and Clive Owen (Commander Arun Filitt)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Only a crazy man would own a rocket!

BRICK MANSIONS

Remember parkour?  Sure you do!  Despite an array of problems—hell, because of its array of problems—Brick Mansions is nice, low-rent fun.

2014
Directed by Camille Delamarre
Written by Luc Besson (based on the screenplay Banlieue 13 by Luc Besson and Bibi Naceri)
With David Belle (Lino), Paul Walker (Damien), Catalina Denis (Lola), RZA (Tremaine), Gouchy Boy (K2), and Ayisha Issa (Rayzah)

Spoiler alert: mild

Turn on, tune in, and drop out of the audience quietly to see if you can get your money back

LUCY

Lucy is a movie that uses only 10% of its cinematic capacity, and I've graded it accordingly.

Written and directed by Luc Besson
With Scarlett Johansson (Lucy), Min-Sik Choi (Chiang), Amr Waked (Pierre Del Rio), and Morgan Freeman (Prof. Morgan Freeman)

Spoiler alert: mild

Telegraph for Robert De Niro: stop

THE FAMILY

Another one of these Goddamned movies where we're supposed to think Robert De Niro is funny because he's Robert De Niro.  Also, turns out Luc Besson hates France.  This is sort of a French movie.  I don't hate France, but I am disappointed in it.

2013
Directed by Luc Besson
Written by Michael Caleo and Luc Besson (based on the book by Tonino Benacquista)
With Robert De Niro (Giovanni/"Fred Blake"), Michelle Pfeiffer ("Maggie Blake"), Diana Agron ("Belle Blake"), John D'Leo ("Warren Blake"), and Tommy Lee Jones (Robert Stansfield)

Spoiler alert: mild