King Week: You taste like whiskey

In which we arrive at the true purpose of this Stephen King mini-marathon, a film that I have some serious issues with, yet still could not recommend enough, particularly given how few of us went to go see it when we should have.

DOCTOR SLEEP

2019

Written and directed by Mike Flanagan (based on the novel by Stephen King—and, y'now, the screenplay, by Stanley Kubrick and Diane Johnson)

Spoiler alert: moderate

King Week: He who kind of chills out and doesn't get too worked up about it behind the rows

In which Halloween-related marathoning has resulted in reviews of several spooky movies from the mind of the world's favorite horror author, Stephen King.

IN THE TALL GRASS

2019

Written and directed by Vincenzo Natali (based on the novella by Stephen King and Joe Hill)

Spoiler alert: moderate

King Week: Total eclipse of the heart

In which Halloween-related marathoning has resulted in reviews of several spooky movies from the mind of the world's favorite horror author, Stephen King.

GERALD'S GAME

2017

Directed by Mike Flanagan

Written by Jeff Howard and Mike Flanagan (based on the novel by Stephen King)

Spoiler alert: moderate

King Week: Everyone's a critic

In which Halloween-related marathoning has resulted in reviews of several spooky movies from the mind of the world's favorite horror author, Stephen King.

MISERY

1990

Directed by Rob Reiner

Written by William Goldman (based on the novel by Stephen King)

Spoiler alert: high

King Week: The judgment of dog

In which Halloween-related marathoning has resulted in reviews of several spooky movies from the mind of the world's favorite horror author, Stephen King.

CUJO

1983

Directed by Lewis Teague

Written by Don Carlos Dunaway and Barbara Turner (based on the novel by Stephen King)

Spoiler alert: high

King Week: The ground is sour

In which Halloween-related marathoning has resulted in reviews of several spooky movies from the mind of the world's favorite horror author, Stephen King.

PET SEMATARY

1989

Directed by Mary Lambert

Written by Stephen King (based on his novel)

2019

Directed by Kevin Kolsch and Dennis Widmeyer

Written by Jeff Buhler (based on the novel, etc.)

Spoiler alert: moderate

King Week: Stephen's cat

In which Halloween-related marathoning has resulted in reviews of several spooky movies from the mind of the world's favorite horror author, Stephen King.

CAT'S EYE

1985

Directed by Lewis Teague

Written by Stephen King (based in part on King's short stories from Night Shift)

Spoiler alert: moderate

King Week: Who made who?

In which Halloween-related marathoning has resulted in reviews of several spooky movies from the mind of the world's favorite horror author, Stephen King.

MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE

1986
Written and directed by Stephen King (based on the short story "Trucks" by, you guessed it, Stephen King)

Spoiler alert: moderate

King Week: Death to President Bartlet!

In which Halloween-related marathoning has resulted in reviews of several spooky movies from the mind of the world's favorite horror author, Stephen King.

THE DEAD ZONE

1983
Directed by David Cronenberg
Written by Jeffrey Boam (based on the novel by Stephen King)

Spoiler alert: moderate (why, I don't even mention the baby, even though it's the coolest part) 

It follows

IT: CHAPTER TWO

Second verse, same as the first.  And that's not necessarily a bad thing.

2019

Directed by Andy Muschietti

Written by Gary Dauberman (based on the novel It by Stephen King)

Spoiler alert: moderate

We'll all float on all right

IT

It's a collage of random scary crap (for a liberal value of "scary," to boot) that coheres, at length, into a reasonably awesome kid's adventure in the grand old style of all the kid's adventures to which it wants to be compared: that is, kind of toothless, honestly, but still faintly meaningful and a fair amount of fun.

2017

Directed by Andy Muschietti

Written by Chase Palmer, Gary Dauberman, and Cary Fukunaga (based on the novel by Stephen King)

With Jaeden Lieberher (Bill Denbrough), Sophia Lillis (Bev Marsh), Jeremy Ray Taylor (Ben Hanscom), Finn Wolfhard (Richie Tozier), Jack Dylan Grazer (Eddie Kaspbrak), Wyatt Olef (Stan Uris), Chosen Jacobs (Mike Hanlon), Nicholas Hamilton (Henry Bowers), and Bill Skarsgard (Pennywise)

Spoiler alert: moderate (or, if you've literally never heard of this property before, severe)

Pywokinesis

FIRESTARTER

It turns out it's not actually as easy to make an awesome movie about psychic powers as BDP and Cronenberg made it look.

1984

Directed by Mark Lester

Written by Stanley Mann (based on the novel by Stephen King)

With Drew Barrymore (Charlie McGee), David Keith (Andy McGee), Heather Locklear (Vicky McGee, nee Tomlinson), Martin Sheen (Capt. Hollister), and George C. Scott (John Rainbird)

Spoiler alert: moderate

John Carpenter, part XI: God, I hate rock and roll

CHRISTINE

A great central metaphor and some of the most unique "gore" ever put in a movie combine to make Christine one of John Carpenter's best.

1983

Directed by John Carpenter

Written by Bill Phillips (based on the novel by Stephen King)

With Keith Gordon (Arnie Cunningham), John Stockwell (Dennis Guilder), Alexandra Paul (Leigh Cabot), Robert Prosky (Will Darnell), Harry Dean Stanton (Det. Rudolph Jenkins), William Ostrander (Buddy Eperton), Malcolm Danare (Moochie), Steven Tash (Rich Trelawney), Stuart Charno (Don Vanderburg), Christine Belford (Regina Cunningham), Robert Darnell (Michael Cunningham), and Roberts Blossom (George LeBay)

Spoiler alert: high