Don't be stupid, be a smarty

JOJO RABBIT

For all your Nazi dramedy-with-a-heart needs, assuming you needed that for some reason.  Personally, I liked it, though there's a point at which this movie clearly doesn't know what it's doing anymore.

2019

Written and directed by Taika Waititi (based on the novel Caging Skies by Christine Leunens)

Spoiler alert: moderate

It's in your nature to destroy yourselves

TERMINATOR: DARK FATE

It's not quite the triumph one might have cautiously hoped for when they heard that both Cameron and Hamilton were coming back, but at least Terminator: Dark Fate still understands what the series was about in the first place.

2019
Directed by Tim Miller
Written by David Foyer, Justin Rhodes, Billy Ray, Charles H. Eglee, Josh Friedman, and James Cameron

Spoiler alert: moderate, though I suppose the movie itself would have it as "high"

An old man and the sea

THE LIGHTHOUSE

Psychohorror with a vintage twist, The Lighthouse transfixes effortlessly—which is a sign of how artful it is, since no movie this hypnotic and controlled was likely to have been "effortless" at all.

2019

Written and directed by Robert Eggers

Spoiler alert: moderate

Not presented in Smellovision

PARASITE

Aka Gisaengchung

Ultimately a little deflating, Parasite is such a controlled work of production design and split-second caper timing—not to mention anti-capitalist fury—that it's worth forgiving some modest third act problems in favor of everything that's great about it.

2019

Directed by Bong Joon-ho

Written by Han Jin-won and Bong Joon-ho

Spoiler alert: moderate

Census Bloodbath: They love blood. They love action. Not this talky, depressing, philosophical bullshit.

STAGEFRIGHT

(aka Deliria, aka Blood Bird, aka, for unknown reasons, Aquarius and/or Stagefright: Aquarius)

The SWITCHEROOOOO!  It's October, and that means it's time for Brennan Klein, of Popcorn Culture and Alternate Ending and Scream 101 and, above all, our hearts, to take on my usual and oft-shirked task of reviewing the Cardboard Science sci-fi schlock of a bygone era, while I get to luxuriate in the blood and guts of 80s slashers with his Census Bloodbath series, which he has been pursuing with diligent and perhaps disturbing obsession, lo these many years.

1987 (Italy)/1989 (USA)

Directed by Michele Soavi

Written by Luigi Montefiori and Sheila Goldberg

Spoiler alert: moderate verging on high

King Week: The judgment of dog

In which Halloween-related marathoning has resulted in reviews of several spooky movies from the mind of the world's favorite horror author, Stephen King.

CUJO

1983

Directed by Lewis Teague

Written by Don Carlos Dunaway and Barbara Turner (based on the novel by Stephen King)

Spoiler alert: high

Census Bloodbath: Norm!

PSYCHO III

The SWITCHEROOOOO!  It's October, and that means it's time for Brennan Klein, of Popcorn Culture and Alternate Ending and Scream 101 and, above all, our hearts, to take on my usual and oft-shirked task of reviewing the Cardboard Science sci-fi schlock of a bygone era, while I get to luxuriate in the blood and guts of 80s slashers with his Census Bloodbath series, which he has been pursuing with diligent and perhaps disturbing obsession, lo these many years.

1986

Directed by Anthony Perkins

Written by Charles Edward Pogue

Spoiler alert: moderate