A guy named Joe

SOUL

2020

Directed by Pete Docter

Written by Mike Jones, Kemp Powers, and Pete Docter

Spoiler alert: mild

Oops, Wonder Woman raped a dude

WONDER WOMAN 1984

2020

Directed by Patty Jenkins

Written by Geoff Johns, Dave Callaham, and Patty Jenkins

Spoiler alert: moderate

Walt Disney, part XXXVI: Beginnings are contagious there

OLIVER & COMPANY

1988

Directed by George Scribner

Written by committees with their own subcommittees, apparently

Spoiler alert: moderate

Walt Disney, part XXXV: I hope you're proud of yourself—and those pictures you took

WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT

1988

Directed by Robert Zemeckis

Written by Jeffrey Price and Peter S. Seaman ("based on" the novel Who Censored Roger Rabbit? by Gary K. Wolf, but at least the book properly punctuates its title)

Spoiler alert: forget it, reader, it's Chinatown

What a disaster: Maybe they ought to leave it the way it is—a kind of shrine to all the bullshit in the world

THE TOWERING INFERNO

1974

Directed by John Guillermin and Irwin Allen

Written by Stirling Silliphant (based on the novels The Tower by Richard Martin Stern and The Glass Inferno by Thomas N. Scortia and Frank M. Robinson)

Spoiler alert: moderate

It's an expression of faith in the mechanics of the world

TENET

2020

Written and directed by Christopher Nolan

Spoiler alert: moderate

Disney's Challengers, part VII: Your mother can't be with you anymore

THE LAND BEFORE TIME

1988

Directed by Don Bluth

Written by Judy Freudberg, Tony Geiss, and Stu Krieger

Spoiler alert: high, but 'cmon

What a disaster: Earthquakes bring out the worst in some people, that's all

EARTHQUAKE

1974

Directed by Mark Robson

Written by Mario Puzo and George Fox

Spoiler alert: moderate

Disney's Challengers, part VI: And the streets are paved with cheese

AN AMERICAN TAIL

1986

Directed by Don Bluth

Written by David Kirschner, Judy Freudberg, and Tony Geiss

Spoiler alert: moderate

What a disaster: Climb, baby, climb!

AIRPORT 1975

1974

Directed by Jack Smight

Written by Don Ingalls

Spoiler alert: moderate

What a disaster: It is the view of Her Majesty's Government—the view, the policy, the determination—to resist extortion by terror

JUGGERNAUT

1974

Directed by Richard Lester

Written by Richard Alan Simmons, Alan Pater, and Richard Lester

Spoiler alert: moderate

Busby Berkeley: Manhattan babies don't sleep tight

GOLD DIGGERS OF 1935

1935

Directed by Busby Berkeley

Written by Robert Lord, Manuel Seff, and Peter Milne

Spoiler alert: moderate

What a disaster: There's got to be a morning after

THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE

1972

Directed by Ronald Neame

Written by Stirling Silliphant and Wendell Mayes (based on the novel by Paul Gallico)

Spoiler alert: a little bit more than moderate, a little bit less than high

Opie on Opie

HILLBILLY ELEGY

2020

Directed by Ron Howard

Written by Vanessa Taylor (based on the book by J.D. Vance)

Spoiler alert: man, this guy is doin' fine

Cardboard Science: Challenger of the unknown

THE LOST WORLD

1960

Directed by Irwin Allen

Written by Charles Bennett and Irwin Allen

Spoiler alert: moderate

What a disaster: Nobody dies on my airplane, not me, not him, not them—not even you, you son of a bitch

SKYJACKED

1972

Directed by John Guillermin

Written by Stanley R. Greenberg (based on the novel Hijacked by David Harper)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Busby Berkeley: Who cares if they've got a plot or not when they've got a lot of dames?

DAMES

1934

Directed by Ray Enright

Written by Robert Lord and Delmer Daves

Spoiler alert: moderate

Moon blinked

OVER THE MOON

2020

Directed by Glen Keane and co-directed by John Kahrs

Written by Audrey Wells

Spoiler alert: moderate

What a disaster: Crystal healing

THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN

1971

Directed by Robert Wise

Written by Nelson Gidding (based on the novel by Michael Crichton)

Spoiler alert: a little bit higher than moderate, but there's no way to talk about it without at least alluding to the ending

Blonde Sunday

I MARRIED A WITCH

1942

Directed by Rene Clair

Written by Robert Pirosh, Mark Connelly, Dalton Trumbo, Andre Rigaud, and Rene Clair (based on the novel The Passionate Witch by Thorne Smith and Norman H. Matson)

Spoiler alert: well, the title's a dead giveaway

Hoping that her next leap will be the leap home

POSESSESSOR

2020

Written and directed by Brandon Cronenberg

Spoiler alert: moderate

Census Bloodbath: For me to poop on

MADHOUSE

aka And When She Was Bad aka There Was a Little Girl

Halloween might be cancelled, but it's still October but it's still early November, for which I apologize, though now that the true terror and pain is over, perhaps we can catch up.  Either way, it's still within the general timeframe prescribed for that mix of peanut butter and chocolate we call The Switcheroo, with Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture and Alternate Ending doing my weird, gross, nostalgic 1950s sci-fi thing for a spell, whilst I do some nice, wholesome slashers from the brightest days of the 1980s.

1981

Directed by Ovidio G. Assonitis

Written by Stephen Blakeley, Peter Sheperd, Roberto Gandus, and Ovidio G. Assonitis

Spoiler alert: moderate

Census Bloodbath: Parasocial relationship

Halloween might be cancelled, but it's still October, and that means it's time again for the peanut butter and chocolate we call The Switcheroo, with Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture and Alternate Ending doing my weird, gross, nostalgic 1950s sci-fi thing for a spell, whilst I do some nice, wholesome slashers from the brightest days of the 1980s.

THE FAN

1981

Directed by Ed Bianchi

Written by Priscilla Chapman and John Hartman

Spoiler alert: moderate

Busby Berkeley: Flying away from Rio

WONDER BAR

1934

Directed by Lloyd Bacon

Written by Earl Baldwin (based on the plays by Geza Herczeg, Karl Farkas, and Robert Katscher)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Cineramarama: Vacation's all I ever wanted

CINERAMA HOLIDAY

1955

Directed by Robert L. Bendick and Philip De Lacy

Written by Louis de Rochemont III and Otis Carney (based on a book, somehow, called America Through a French Looking Glass by Renee Gossett and Pierre Gossett)

Spoiler alert: N/A

Census Bloodbath: Cultural appropriation

Halloween might be cancelled, but it's still October, and that means it's time again for the peanut butter and chocolate we call The Switcheroo, with Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture and Alternate Ending doing my weird, gross, nostalgic 1950s sci-fi thing for a spell, whilst I do some nice, wholesome slashers from the brightest days of the 1980s.

NIGHT SCHOOL

1981

Directed by Ken Hughes

Written by Ruth Agerton

Spoiler alert: high, I guess, I said reluctantly

This is the voice of world control

COLOSSUS: THE FORBIN PROJECT

1970

Directed by Joseph Sargent

Written by James Bridges (based on the novel Colossus by Dennis Feltham Jones)

Spoiler alert: high

Busby Berkeley: When good Americans die, they go to Paris

FASHIONS OF 1934

1934

Directed by William Dieterle

Written by Harry Collins, Warren Duff, F. Hugh Hubert, Carl Erickson, 

Spoile alert: moderate

What a disaster: The sudden decompression at 30,000 feet is something you gotta see to believe

AIRPORT

1970

Written and directed by George Seaton (based on the novel by Arthur Hailey)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Cineramarama: Beautiful for spacious skies

THIS IS CINERAMA

1952

Directed by Merian C. Cooper, Michael Todd Jr., Ernest B. Schoedsack, and Gunther von Frisch

Spoiler alert: as inapplicable as it gets

G-d Week: Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding count the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man, and his number is six hundred and sixty-six.

QUO VADIS

1951

Directed by Mervyn LeRoy

Written by S.N. Behrman, Sonya Levien, and John Lee Mahin (based on the novel by Henryk Sienkiewicz)

Spoiler alert: moderate

G-d Week: My son, do not regard the Lord's discipline lightly, nor be weary when reproved by him, for the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.

BARABBAS

1961 Italy/1962 USA

Directed by Richard Fleischer

Written by Christopher Fry (based on the novel by Par Lagerkvist)

Spoiler alert: somewhere between moderate and high

The night breed

LITTLE MONSTERS

1989

Directed by Richard Alan Greenberg

Written by Terry Rossio and Ted Elliott

Spoiler alert: mild

G-d Week: For he who was a slave when he was called is the Lord's freedman, while he who was free when he was called is Christ's slave.

DEMETRIUS AND THE GLADIATORS

1954

Directed by Delmer Daves

Written by Philip Dunne

Spoiler alert: moderate

G-d Week: Those who were not my people I will call my people, and she who was not beloved, I will call beloved.

THE ROBE

1953

Directed by Henry Koster

Written by Gina Kaus, Albert Maltz, and Philip Dunne (based on the novel by Lloyd C. Douglas)

Spoiler alert: high

G-d Week: Truly this man was the son of God.

THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD

1965

Directed by George Stevens

Written by James Lee Barrett and George Stevens

Spoiler alert: very very N/A

G-d Week: She went out and said to her mother, "What shall I ask for?" "The head of John the Baptist," she answered.

SALOME

1953

Directed by William Dieterle

Written by Harry Kleiner and Jesse Lasky Jr.

Spoiler alert: high

Oh the huge manatee

CHILDREN OF THE SEA

Kaiju no kodomo

2019 Japan/2020 USA

Directed by Ayumu Watanabe and Kenichi Konishi

Written by Hanasaki Kino (based on the comic by Daisuke Igarashi)

Spoiler alert: I feel like I'd need to have understood what happened in order to spoil it, but hey, let's say "moderate"

God gave rock 'n' roll to you

BILL & TED FACE THE MUSIC

2020

Directed by Dean Parisot

Written by Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon

Spoiler alert: moderate

Brooklyn, James—Cinderella wants to take another look at the ashes

COVER GIRL

1944

Directed by Charles Vidor

Written by Marion Parsonnet, Paul Gangelin, Erwin Gelsey, John H. Kafka, and Virgina Van Upp

Spoiler alert: moderate

The great beauty

ROMAN HOLIDAY

1953

Directed by William Wyler

Written by Dalton Trumbo and John Dighton

Spoiler alert: moderate

Life after wartime

THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES

1946

Directed by William Wyler

Written by Robert E. Sherwood (based on the novella Glory For Me by MacKinley Kantor)

Spoiler alert: moderate

I'm a society burglar—I don't expect people to rush about shooting me

HOW TO STEAL A MILLION

1966

Directed by William Wyler

Written by Harry Kurnitz (based on the story "Venus Rising" by George Bradshaw)

Spoiler alert: moderate

The first wonder of the world

LAND OF THE PHARAOHS

1955

Directed by Howard Hawks

Written by William Faulkner, Harold Jack Bloom, and Harry Kurnitz

Spoiler alert: well, the pyramid gets finished, but moderate otherwise

Walt Disney, part XXXIV: The supreme ruler of all mousedom

THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE

1986

Directed by Ron Clements, Burny Mattinson, Dave Michener, and John Musker

Spoiler alert: moderate

Dancing about architecture

PLAYTIME

1967

Directed by Jacques Tati

Written by Jacques Lagrange, Art Buchwald, and Jacques Tati

Spoiler alert: oh, very inapplicable

Walt Disney, part XXXIII: I presume, boy, that you are the keeper of this oracular pig?

THE BLACK CAULDRON

1985

Directed by Ted Berman and Richard Rich

Spoiler alert: moderate

Hang on a minute lads—I've got a great idea

THE ITALIAN JOB

1969

Directed by Peter Collinson

Written by Troy Kennedy Martin

Spoiler alert: a tiny bit more than "moderate"

When the day comes that we have to go to war against Utah, we are really gonna kick ass

BROKEN ARROW

1996

Directed by John Woo

Written by Graham Yost

Spoiler alert: moderate

Disney's Challengers, part V: Courageous heart

THE SECRET OF NIMH

1982

Directed by Don Bluth

Written by Don Bluth, Gary Goldman, John Pomeroy, and Will Finn (based on the novel Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH by Robert C. O'Brien)

Spoiler alert: high