Robert Zemeckis, part XV: Ripper, tearer, slasher, gouger, and so forth

BEOWULF

Not the abject artistic failure you might have expected, Beowulf at least suggests why Zemeckis kept at the mo-cap thing.

2007
Directed by Robert Zemeckis
Written by Neil Gaiman and Roger Avary (based on the poem)
With Ray Winstone (Beowulf), Anthony Hopkins (Hrothgar), Robin Wright (Wealthow), Brendan Gleeson (Wigraf), John Malkovich (Unferth), Crispin Glover (Grendel), and Angelina Jolie (Grendel's Mother)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Why does the black bird gotta be the slave?

MALEFICENT

Despite a powerfully good first act, Maleficent ultimately collapses into a gutless retcon that possesses little of Sleeping Beauty's native charm, elevated to watchability solely by the presence of Angelina Jolie in the titular role.

2014
Directed by Robert Stromberg
Written by Linda Woolverton, stepping on the work of at least eight other people
With Angelina Jolie (Maleficent), Sharlto Copley (Stefan), and Elle Fanning (Aurora)

Spoiler alert: severe (but you would see it coming anyway)