Ad nauseam

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Here's James Gray's masterclass on how to ruin a movie that was perfectly above-average until he got to it in post.

2019

Directed by James Gray

Written by Ethan Gross and James Gray

Spoiler alert: moderate

They're not sending their best

BLOWN AWAY

A bomb-based thriller that's too wacky for its own good, yet, perhaps, not quite wacky enough, Blown Away splits the difference between sobriety and absurdity somewhat awkwardly, if never quite so awkwardly that the good parts (which is to say, the cool parts) wind up lost.

1994

Directed by Stephen Hopkins

Written Jay Roach, John Rice, and Joe Batteer

With Jeff Bridges (Lt. Jimmy Dove), Suzy Amis (Kate), Lloyd Bridges (Max O'Bannon), Forest Whitaker (Officer Anthony Franklin), and Tommy Lee Jones (Ryan Gaerity)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Joe Dante, part XII: Real American heroes

SMALL SOLDIERS

Kids love social commentary, right?  Maybe not, but that doesn't mean we can't, while still appreciating Small Soldiers' finer points, like its comedy, its violence, its comedic violence, and (especially) its swerves into bona fide, no-kidding horror.

1998

Directed by Joe Dante

Written by Gavin Scott, Adam Rifkin, Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio, and Anne Spielberg

With Gregory Smith (Alan Abernathy), Kirsten Dunst (Christy Fimple), Phil Hartman (Phil Fimple), Wendy Schaal (Marion Fimple), Dick Miller (Joe), David Cross (Irwin Wayfair), Jay Mohr (Larry Benson), Robert Picardo (Ralph Quist), Dennis Leary (Gil Mars), Frank Langella (Archer), and Tommy Lee Jones (Chip Hazard)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Steven Spielberg, part XXXIV: For example, to prepare for the role of Abraham Lincoln, Day-Lewis was actually elected President of the United States

LINCOLN

As a history lesson, Lincoln is a worthwhile sit, even though it's a long one.  As a cinematic object, however, Lincoln is a decidedly flat experience.  It is elevated by its rarefied acting and interesting character work, but not to the point that you'll find me wholeheartedly recommending it; but then, movies about the political process are just about my least favorite thing in the world—so, please, consider that a disclosure of my bias.

2012

Directed by Steven Spielberg

Written by Tony Kushner (based on the book Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln by Doris Kearns Goodwin)

With Daniel Day-Lewis (Pres. Abraham Lincoln), Tommy Lee Jones (Rep. Thaddeus Stevens), David Strathairn (Sec. State William Seward), Sally Field (Mary Todd Lincoln), Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Robert Lincoln), Gulliver McGrath (Tad Lincoln), James Spader (W.N. Bilbo), Lee Pace (Rep. Fernando Wood), and much, much more

Spoiler alert: he went to go see a nice play

John Carpenter, part 0: Stab your eyes—I'm a man! I'm my OWN man!

EYES OF LAURA MARS

A banner year for Carpenter, 1978 saw his name on four different motion pictures—and fully half of them were any good!  But Eyes of Laura Mars, in case you didn't get the hint, was in the other half.

1978

Directed by Irvin Kershner

Written by David Zelag Goodman and John Carpenter

With Faye Dunaway (Laura Mars), Tommy Lee Jones (Lt. John Neville), Rene Auberjonois (Donald Phelps), Brad Dourif (Tommy Ludlow), and Raul Julia (Michael Reisler)

Spoiler alert: severe

Content warning: mild ART

John Carpenter, part XIV: Riding with death

BLACK MOON RISING

Offering supercars, Linda Hamilton in a starring role, and evil businessmen who must be thwarted with awesome violence, Black Moon Rising represents one damned fine slice of pure 80s cheese.

1986

Directed by Harley Cokeliss

Written by Desmond Nakano, William Gray, and John Carpenter

With Tommy Lee Jones (Sam Quint), Linda Hamilton (Nina), Richard Jaeckel (Earl Windom), Dan Shor (Billy Lyons), William Sanderson (Tyke Thayden), Lee Ving (Marvin Ringer), Bubba Smith (Johnson), and Robert Vaughn (Ed Ryland)

Spoiler alert: moderate

A million ways to die in the West

THE HOMESMAN

The Homesman is an uncompromising vision of human nature that, nonetheless, seems a little too selective in what it wants to look at.  Even so, it's as good a Western that came out in 2014 (and since that's a bar that basically does not exist, let's also say it's very good in its own right, too).

2014
Directed by Tommy Lee Jones
Written by Kieran Fitzgerald, Wesley A. Oliver, and Tommy Lee Jones (based on the novel by Glendon Swarthout)
With Hillary Swank (Mary Bee Cuddy) and Tommy Lee Jones (the homesman d/b/a "George Briggs")

Spoiler alert: moderate