If she doesn't scare you, that sounds about right

CRUELLA

2021

Directed by Craig Gillepsie

Written by Dana Fox, Tony McNamara, Aline Brosh McKenna, Kelly Marcel, and Steve Zissis

Spoiler alert: the puppies were all products of incest, apparently (moderate) 

I'm saying she was "the Mistress of the Robes," yeah? "Keeper of the Privy Purse," "Groom of the Stole," "Lady of the Bedchamber"... if you know what I mean

THE FAVOURITE

Our reminder that it is not only power that corrupts, but lack of power, too, The Favourite wallows in the sickness of humankind.  But (importantly) always in an amusing way.

2018

Directed by Yorgos Lanthimos
Written by Deborah Davis and Tony McNamara

With Olivia Colman (Anne Stuart, Queen of Great Britain and Ireland), Rachel Weisz (Sarah Churchill, Duchess of Marlborough), Emma Stone (Abigail Hill), James Smith (Sidney Godolphin, Earl of Godolphin), and Nicholas Hoult (Robert Harley, Earl of Oxford)

Spoiler alert: moderate

I'm letting life hit me until it gets tired

LA LA LAND

A throwback this substantial and earnest in its attempt to revivify a long-dead subgenre would have earned our attention regardless; but one this well-made and ultimately powerful, has—in spite of its weaknesses—managed to earn the effusiveness of its praise.

2016

Written and directed by Damien Chazelle

With Ryan Gosling (Sebastian), Emma Stone (Mia), and John Legend (Keith)

Spoiler alert: moderate

I'm unexpectedly virtuous

BIRDMAN

Birdman is very close to the best movie of the year, and it is almost without a doubt the hardest.

2014
Directed by Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu
Written by Nicolas Giacobone, Alexander Dinelaris, Armando Bo, and Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu
With Michael Keaton (Riggan Thomson), Edward Norton (Mike Shiner), Naomi Watts (Lesley), Zach Galifianakis (Jake), Andrea Riseborough (Laura), Amy Ryan (Sylvia), and Emma Stone (Sam)

Spoiler alert: mild

A Midsummer Night's Sexless Comedy

MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT

The pledge, the turn, the prestige... and 17 more interminable minutes.

2014
Written and directed by Woody Allen
With Colin Firth (Stanley Crawford), Emma Stone (Sophie Baker), and Simon McBurney (Howard Burkan)

Spoiler alert: I should have a level between "moderate" and "high" but I don't

The amazing web of the spectacular Spider-Man unlimited, part V: Electro Max likes electro music

In celebration of his fifth cinematic iteration, this series of reviews is devoted to the only arachnid I wouldn't scream at and kill with poison.  Here comes the Spider-Man!  

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2

Amazing 2 represents a return in many respects to the kitchen-sink narrative of Spider-Man 3—and flawed it may be, deeply so, but there is true finesse here as well.  With an affecting climax that underlines exactly why this reconception of the franchise is so much more solid than the last, this film is also so stylistically insane that you could call it The Musically Audacious Spider-Man.  Its strengths are too strong to understate the matter, and I don't hesitate to go against the grain all the way: it's not only not the terrible movie you've no doubt heard it was, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is the best Spider-Man film yet.

2014
Directed by Marc Webb
Written by Alex Kurtzmann, Roberto Orci, Jeff Pinkner, and James Vanderbilt
With Andrew Garfield (Peter Parker), Emma Stone (Gwen Stacy), Denis Leary (Capt. Stacy), Sally Field (May Parker), Jamie Foxx (Max Dillon), and Dane DeHaan (Harry Osborn) (for realsies this time)

Spoiler alert: high

The amazing web of the spectacular Spider-Man unlimited, part IV: The clone saga

In celebration of his fifth cinematic iteration, this series of reviews is devoted to the only arachnid I wouldn't scream at and kill with poison.  Here comes the Spider-Man! 

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN

Few ever held the reboot to be strictly necessary in the first place, and with Amazing's rerun of half a dozen old ideas, alongside its debut of a few new, terrible ones, even the film itself seems sometimes to argue against its own existence.  But in a stroke, it's all forgiven, for with a single great idea the Amazing series more than justifies the decision to begin again.

2012
Directed by Mark Webb
Written by James Vanderbilt, Alvin Sargent, and Steve Kloves
With Andrew Garfield (Peter Parker), Emma Stone (Gwen Stacy), Denis Leary (Capt. Stacy), Sally Field (May Parker), Martin Sheen (Ben Parker), Rhys Ifans (Curt Connor), and Dane DeHaan (Harry Osborn) (oh, can't we pretend?)

Spoiler alert: high