Census Bloodbath: Everyone's entitled to one good scare

APRIL FOOL'S DAY

Thirteen Halloweens.  That's sinister, don't you think?  And that's how long we've been crossing over with Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture in the Old Switcheroo, where for the duration of October he supplements his ever-burgeoning encyclopedia of the slasher, Census Bloodbath, with a takeover of our own wholesome 50s sci-fi feature, Cardboard Science, while I get the sharper end of that bargain here.

1986

Directed by Fred Walton

Written by Danilo Bach

Spoilers: severe

Census Bloodbath: Faces bright with Christmas fever

SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT

Thirteen Halloweens.  That's sinister, don't you think?  And that's how long we've been crossing over with Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture in the Old Switcheroo, where for the duration of October he supplements his ever-burgeoning encyclopedia of the slasher, Census Bloodbath, with a takeover of our own wholesome 50s sci-fi feature, Cardboard Science, while I get the sharper end of that bargain here.

1984

Directed by Charles E. Sellier Jr

Written by Paul Caimi, Dennis Whitehead, Scott J. Schneid, and Michael Hickey

Spoilers: moderate

Census Bloodbath: I know what you did last prom night

PROM NIGHT

Thirteen Halloweens.  That's sinister, don't you think?  And that's how long we've been crossing over with Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture in the Old Switcheroo, where for the duration of October he supplements his ever-burgeoning encyclopedia of the slasher, Census Bloodbath, with a takeover of our own wholesome 50s sci-fi feature, Cardboard Science, while I get the sharper end of that bargain here.

1980

Directed by Paul Lynch

Written by Robert Guza Jr, William Gray, and John Hunter

Spoilers: man, you could say "moderate," you could say "high," but I would say "it doesn't matter much anyway"

Census Bloodbath: Hello, nurse

VISITING HOURS

It's Halloween again, and for our 12th annual Switcheroo with Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture, we're doing what we always do this time of year when we turn the tables on one another: he takes over my Cardboard Science feature and reviews some of those corny mid-century sci-fi movies, and I do some fieldwork for Brennan's Census Bloodbath, as he gives me a slate of sick 80s slasher flicks from his ever-expanding encyclopedia of death.  This year we're back to full power, with three psyche-scarring films of Brennan's selection.

1982

Directed by Jean-Claude Lord

Written by Brian Taggert

Spoilers: moderate

Census Bloodbath: This is a tool, not a toy

THE CARPENTER

It's Halloween again, and for our 12th annual Switcheroo with Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture, we're doing what we always do this time of year when we turn the tables on one another: he takes over my Cardboard Science feature and reviews some of those corny mid-century sci-fi movies, and I do some fieldwork for Brennan's Census Bloodbath, as he gives me a slate of sick 80s slasher flicks from his ever-expanding encyclopedia of death.  This year we're back to full power, with three psyche-scarring films of Brennan's selection.

1988

Directed by David Wellington

Written by Doug Taylor

Spoilers: moderate

Census Bloodbath: You have a 20th century mind—you may soon regret it

SUPERSTITION

aka The Witch

It's Halloween again, and for our 12th annual Switcheroo with Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture, we're doing what we always do this time of year when we turn the tables on one another: he takes over my Cardboard Science feature and reviews some of those corny mid-century sci-fi movies, and I do some fieldwork for Brennan's Census Bloodbath, as he gives me a slate of sick 80s slasher flicks from his ever-expanding encyclopedia of death.  This year we're back to full power, with three psyche-scarring films of Brennan's selection.

1982 elsewhere/1985 USA

Directed by James W. Roberson

Written by Michael O. Sajbel, Bret Thompson Plate, Brad White, and Donald G. Thompson

Spoilers: moderate

Census Bloodbath: Sleep out with your peep out

SLEEPAWAY CAMP

It's Halloween again, and you know what that means.  Like every year, we resurrect Brennan Klein over at Popcorn Culture for our October Switcheroo!  Sometimes I win, sometimes he loses, but either way, it means Brennan trapped in our own Cardboard Science format and reviewing 50s sci-fi classics or not-so-classics, while I wear his face for a while with some 80s slashers, Census Bloodbath-style.

1983

Written and directed by Robert Hiltzick

Spoilers: extraordinarily severe; or, everybody already knows anyway; or, I'm not sure, but you've been warned

Census Bloodbath: A boy's best friend is his mother

BLOOD RAGE

aka Slasher aka Nightmare at Shadow Woods

It wouldn't be October without Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture and Alternate Ending, and so I'm ecstatic to present our tenth annual Halloween Switcheroo, wherein I get to chew on some hunks of bloody meat from his field of expertise, the 80s slasher, while I throw him some wholesome stolid science heroism from the 50s.  This is an abbreviated year, which is a shame, and while all things will pass into the night—not this one, not yet.

1987

Directed by John Grissmer

Written by Bruce Rubin

Spoilers: moderate

Census Bloodbath: Jock shock

CUTTING CLASS

And once again we welcome you, to our October Switcheroo

Where Brennan Klein deigns to review nice old sci-fi, like I would do.

But pretending to alliance, Brennan sends me 80s violence!

Cardboard Bloodbath, Census Science, demands psychic realignment.

Oh we have fun—requisite links.  Here's hoping that not too much stinks.

Poetry blows, J. Slasherfan thinks. Give me TITS and DEATH, that's my kink!

1989

Directed by Rospo Pallenberg

Written by Steve Slavkin

Census Bloodbath: A true crime

RETURN TO HORROR HIGH

And once again we welcome you, to our October Switcheroo

Where Brennan Klein deigns to review nice old sci-fi, like I would do.

But pretending to alliance, Brennan sends me 80s violence!

Cardboard Bloodbath, Census Science, demands psychic realignment.

Oh we have fun—requisite links.  Here's hoping that not too much stinks.

Poetry blows, J. Slasherfan thinks. Give me TITS and DEATH, that's my kink!

1987

Directed by Bill Froelich

Written by Bill Froelich, Dana Escalante, Mark Lisson, and Greg H. Sims

Census Bloodbath: Gorked up

HELL NIGHT

And once again we welcome you, to our October Switcheroo

Where Brennan Klein deigns to review nice old sci-fi, like I would do.

But pretending to alliance, Brennan sends me 80s violence!

Cardboard Bloodbath, Census Science, demands psychic realignment.

Oh we have fun—requisite links.  Here's hoping that not too much stinks.

Poetry blows, J. Slasherfan thinks. Give me TITS and DEATH, that's my kink!

1981

Directed by Tom DeSimone

Written by Randy Feldman

Census Bloodbath: Sure burned my beans bad on that one

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE PART 2

The Eighth (oh God) Annual Great October Switcheroo!  Once again, we're crossing over with the wonderful Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture and sometimes Alternate Ending, and I'm doing some of the 80s slashers he's catalogued as part of his Census Bloodbath project, while he's doing some of the old-timey sci-fi I've been hoarding as part of my own Cardboard Science archive.  This year, he finally gave me three pieces of the slasher genre's major arcana, such as I've been very subtly and surreptitiously hinting that I'd like to do this whole time; in return, I accidentally gave him three pieces of indecent crap.  Oops!  (But, seriously, apologies.)

1986

Directed by Tobe Hooper

Written by L.M. Kit Carson

Spoiler alert: moderate

Census Bloodbath: Urban legend

FRIDAY THE 13th PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN

The Eighth (oh God) Annual Great October Switcheroo!  Once again, we're crossing over with the wonderful Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture and sometimes Alternate Ending, and I'm doing some of the 80s slashers he's catalogued as part of his Census Bloodbath project, while he's doing some of the old-timey sci-fi I've been hoarding as part of my own Cardboard Science archive.  This year, he finally gave me three pieces of the slasher genre's major arcana, such as I've been very subtly and surreptitiously hinting that I'd like to do this whole time; in return, I accidentally gave him three pieces of indecent crap.  Oops!  (But, seriously, apologies.)

1989

Written and directed by Rob Hedden

Spoiler alert: moderate

Census Bloodbath: For Christ's sake, spare me the speech! I've listened to it for a decade

The Eighth (oh God) Annual Great October Switcheroo!  Once again, we're crossing over with the wonderful Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture and sometimes Alternate Ending, and I'm doing some of the 80s slashers he's catalogued as part of his Census Bloodbath project, while he's doing some of the old-timey sci-fi I've been hoarding as part of my own Cardboard Science archive.  This year, he finally gave me three pieces of the slasher genre's major arcana, such as I've been very subtly and surreptitiously hinting that I'd like to do this whole time; in return, I accidentally gave him three pieces of indecent crap.  Oops!  (But, seriously, apologies.)

HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS

1988

Directed by Dwight H. Little

Written by Alan B. McElroy, Danny Lipsius, Larry Rattner, and Benhamin Ruffner

Spoiler alert: moderate

Census Bloodbath: For me to poop on

MADHOUSE

aka And When She Was Bad aka There Was a Little Girl

Halloween might be cancelled, but it's still October but it's still early November, for which I apologize, though now that the true terror and pain is over, perhaps we can catch up.  Either way, it's still within the general timeframe prescribed for that mix of peanut butter and chocolate we call The Switcheroo, with Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture and Alternate Ending doing my weird, gross, nostalgic 1950s sci-fi thing for a spell, whilst I do some nice, wholesome slashers from the brightest days of the 1980s.

1981

Directed by Ovidio G. Assonitis

Written by Stephen Blakeley, Peter Sheperd, Roberto Gandus, and Ovidio G. Assonitis

Spoiler alert: moderate

Census Bloodbath: Parasocial relationship

Halloween might be cancelled, but it's still October, and that means it's time again for the peanut butter and chocolate we call The Switcheroo, with Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture and Alternate Ending doing my weird, gross, nostalgic 1950s sci-fi thing for a spell, whilst I do some nice, wholesome slashers from the brightest days of the 1980s.

THE FAN

1981

Directed by Ed Bianchi

Written by Priscilla Chapman and John Hartman

Spoiler alert: moderate

Census Bloodbath: Cultural appropriation

Halloween might be cancelled, but it's still October, and that means it's time again for the peanut butter and chocolate we call The Switcheroo, with Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture and Alternate Ending doing my weird, gross, nostalgic 1950s sci-fi thing for a spell, whilst I do some nice, wholesome slashers from the brightest days of the 1980s.

NIGHT SCHOOL

1981

Directed by Ken Hughes

Written by Ruth Agerton

Spoiler alert: high, I guess, I said reluctantly

Census Bloodbath: They love blood. They love action. Not this talky, depressing, philosophical bullshit.

STAGEFRIGHT

(aka Deliria, aka Blood Bird, aka, for unknown reasons, Aquarius and/or Stagefright: Aquarius)

The SWITCHEROOOOO!  It's October, and that means it's time for Brennan Klein, of Popcorn Culture and Alternate Ending and Scream 101 and, above all, our hearts, to take on my usual and oft-shirked task of reviewing the Cardboard Science sci-fi schlock of a bygone era, while I get to luxuriate in the blood and guts of 80s slashers with his Census Bloodbath series, which he has been pursuing with diligent and perhaps disturbing obsession, lo these many years.

1987 (Italy)/1989 (USA)

Directed by Michele Soavi

Written by Luigi Montefiori and Sheila Goldberg

Spoiler alert: moderate verging on high

Census Bloodbath: Norm!

PSYCHO III

The SWITCHEROOOOO!  It's October, and that means it's time for Brennan Klein, of Popcorn Culture and Alternate Ending and Scream 101 and, above all, our hearts, to take on my usual and oft-shirked task of reviewing the Cardboard Science sci-fi schlock of a bygone era, while I get to luxuriate in the blood and guts of 80s slashers with his Census Bloodbath series, which he has been pursuing with diligent and perhaps disturbing obsession, lo these many years.

1986

Directed by Anthony Perkins

Written by Charles Edward Pogue

Spoiler alert: moderate

Census Bloodbath: In the dark it is easy to pretend

PHANTOM OF THE MALL: ERIC'S REVENGE

The SWITCHEROOOOO!  It's October, and that means it's time for Brennan Klein, of Popcorn Culture and Alternate Ending and Scream 101 and, above all, our hearts, to take on my usual and oft-shirked task of reviewing the Cardboard Science sci-fi schlock of a bygone era, while I get to luxuriate in the blood and guts of 80s slashers with his Census Bloodbath series, which he has been pursuing with diligent and perhaps disturbing obsession, lo these many years.

1989

Directed by Richard Friedman

Written by Scott J. Schneid, Tony Michelman, and Robert King

Spoiler alert: moderate