Saturday, November 23, 2013

I wish John Brown had nuclear weapons


The feel bad movie of the year!  It's entirely possible, even probable, that I appear to have stolen that, though I did make it up; but that's because it is the most obvious damned thing you could say about this great movie.  And it may not be true.

Directed by Steve McQueen
Written by John Ridley (based on the book by Solomon Northrup)
With Chiwetel Ejiofor (Solomon Northrup), Michael Fassbender (Edwin Epps), Lupita Nyong'o (Patsey), Benedict Cumberbatch (Ford), and Brad Pitt (the Magical Caucasian)

Spoiler alert: N/A

The J.D.: the degree so versatile you can fail to deal drugs with it too


I loved this movie.  You might.  They didn't.  You know who I mean.

Directed by Ridley Scott
Written by Cormac McCarthy
With Michael Fassbender (The Counselor), Cameron Diaz (Malkina), Javier Bardem (Reiner), Brad Pitt (Westray), Penelope Cruz (Laura), and Ruben Blades (Jefe)

Spoiler alert: everyone either dies, should have died, or wishes they had died let's say moderate

Saturday, November 9, 2013



A divinely inspired work of cinema with a real beating heart, featuring the best fantasy world in contemporary film, the best straight superhero story in any film, the best supervillain since Claude Rains wore black velvet, and the best colors of 2011, which, if I had my way, would be an Oscar category.

Directed by Kenneth Branagh
Written by Ashley Miller, Zack Stentz, Don Payne, Mark Protosevich, and J. Michael Straczynski
With Chris Hemsworth (Thor), Tom Hiddleston (Loki), Natalie Portman (Jane Foster), Anthony Hopkins (Odin), Rene Russo (Frigga), Kat Dennings (Darcy Lewis), Stellan Skarsgard (Dr. Erik Selvig), Idris Elba (Heimdall), Jaime Alexander (Sif), Zachary Levi (Fandral), Ray Stevenson (Volstagg), Tadanobu Asano (Hogun), Colm Feore (Laufey), and Clark Gregg (Agent Coulson)


Whosoever holds this camera, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Kenneth Branaghand of course it didn't even budge.  Yet, somehow, this sequel is a very good movie, proving how much script and performancesand probably sheer goodwill for a franchisereally do matter.

Directed by Alan Taylor
Written by Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely, Christopher Yost, and Don Payne
With the same, minus Colm Feore (a void in my icy heart) and Clark Gregg (a pain like a stab in the chest), plus Christopher Eccleston (if you really, really insist)

Spoiler alert: severe for Thor, mild for The Dark World