Send in the clones

JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM

Seriously, why is it so hard to take $200 million and turn it into a good movie about dinosaurs?  Oh, because they're not even making movies about dinosaurs anymore.  If I wanted to watch a movie about made-up monsters, I have other, much better options; and hence Fallen Kingdom follows up on Jurassic World to surrender even more of what granted their predecessors their power, and, yes, their occasional sense of holiness, even when they were at their worst.

2018
Directed by J.A. Bayona
Written by Derek Connelly and Colin Trevorrow
With Chris Pratt (Owen Grady), Bryce Dallas Howard (Claire Dearing), Daniella Pinada (Zia Rodriguez), Justice Smith (Franklin Webb), James Cromwell (Benjamin Lockwood), Isabella Sermon (Maisie Lockwood), Toby Jones (Eversol), Ted Levine (Ken Wheatley), BD Wong (Dr. Henry Wu), and Rafe Spall (Eli Mills)

Spoiler alert: moderateish, or high, if you actually are as stupid as the movie thinks you are

Cardboard Science: Some form of super-carrot

THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD

It's not often that the forerunner of a trend is actually one of its best examples, but then there's The Thing From Another World.

1951

Directed by Christian Nyby and/or Howard Hawks

Written by Charles Lederer, Ben Hecht, and Howard Hawks (based on the story "Who Goes There?" by John W. Campbell Jr.)

With Kenneth Tobey (Capt. Patrick Hendry), Margaret Sheridan (Nikki Nicholson), Douglas Spencer (Ned Scott), Robert Cornthwaite (Dr. Arthur Carrington), and James Arness (The Thing)

Spoiler alert: moderate

You'll believe a woman can stretch

INCREDIBLES 2

Often, it's not so great when a sequel does the exact same thing as the original, only bigger.  Fortunately, Pixar sequels remember to do it better, too.

2018

Written and directed by Brad Bird

With Holly Hunter (Helen "Elastigirl" Parr), Craig T. Nelson (Bob "Mr. Incredible" Parr), Sarah Vowell (Violet Parr), Huck Milner (Dashiell "Dash" Parr), Samuel L. Jackson (Lucius "Frozone" Best), Brad Bird (Edna Mode), John Ratzenberger (The Underminer), Bob Odenkirk (Winston Deavor), and Catherine Keener (Evelyn Deavor)

Spoiler alert: moderate

But I'm looking even more forward to Ocean's One, which will just be a really flashy, really fun liquor store robbery

OCEAN'S EIGHT

Heist flicks typically don't have extended fourth acts for a very good reason, as Ocean's Eight demonstrates; but those first three acts are such a great time at the movies that it doesn't matter as much as it should.

2018

Directed by Gary Ross

Written by Olivia Milch and Gary Ross

With Sandra Bullock (Debbie Ocean), Cate Blanchett (Lou), Mindy Kaling (Amita), Helena Bonham Carter (Rose Weil), Sarah Paulson (Tammy), Nora Lum Ying (Constance), Rihanna ("Nine Ball"), Anne Hathaway (Daphne Kluger), James Corden (John Frazier), and Richard Armitage (Claude Becker)

Spoiler alert: mild, but that asterisked footnote does contain a somewhat severe spoiler

The young Han Solo chronicles

SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY

This movie is about the reward its hero received for believing in something; in a flawless example of form following function, Solo teaches its audience not to misplace its faith so easily, too.

2018

Directed by Ron Howard

"Executive produced" by Phil Lord and Chris Miller, the poor bastards

Written by Lawrence Kasdan and Jon Kasdan

With Alden Ehrenreich (Han Solo), Joonas Suotamo (Chewbacca), Emilia Clarke (Qi'ra), Woody Harrelson (Tobias Beckett), Thandie Newton (Val), Jon Favreau (Rio Durant), Donald Glover (Lando Calrissian), Phoebe Waller-Bridge (L3-37), Linda Hunt (Lady Proxima), and Paul Bettany (Dryden Voss)

Spoiler alert: high