Here I reign

SONG TO SONG

Terry does it again.  (Whether that's a good thing or not remains, as always, a matter of taste.)

2017

Written and directed by Terrence Malick

With Rooney Mara (Faye), Ryan Gosling (B.V.), Natalie Portman (Rhonda), and Michael Fassbender (Cook)

Spoiler alert: mild

Alien Week, part VIII: The dark star

ALIEN: COVENANT

About seven weeks too late, we reach the conclusion of our journey—and, in keeping with the anticlimactic nature of our retrospective, we find it lacking not just everything that made Alien great, but even most of the things that made its immediate predecessor Prometheus good, too.

2017

Directed by Ridley Scott

Written by Jack Peglen, Michael Green, John Logan, and Dante Harper

With Michael Fassbender (David and Walter), Katherine Waterston (Daniels), Billy Crudup (Oram), Danny McBride (Tennessee), James Franco (Capt. Branson), and Guy Pearce (Peter Weyland)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Alien Week, part VII: The space odyssey

PROMETHEUS

Fitfully great, and with far more potential than it ever quite pays off upon, Prometheus is ironic in that it's an Alien film that itself suffers from an unwanted xenomorphic impregnation.

2012

Directed by Ridley Scott

Written by Jon Spaihts and Damon Lindelof

With Michael Fassbender (David), Noomi Rapace (Dr. Elizabeth Shaw), Logan Marshall-Green (Dr. Charlie Holloway), Charlize Theron (Meredith Vickers), Idris Elba (Capt. Janek), and Guy Pearce (Peter Weyland)

Spoiler alert: high

At least everyone agrees that the third film in a series is always the worst!

X-MEN: APOCALYPSE

A letdown of massive proportions (in all but one very crucial way, that is, since I guess I'll never not be impressed by Bryan Singer's super-speed shenanigans).  But, as for everything except Quicksilver, X-Men: Apocalypse kind of sucks.  It kind of sucks hard.

2016
Directed by Bryan Singer

Written by Simon Kinberg, Michael Dougherty, Dan Harris, and Bryan Singer

With James McAvoy (Prof. Charles Xavier), Michael Fassbender (Magneto), Evan Peters (Peter Maximoff), Jennifer Lawrence (Mystique), Nicholas Hoult (Hank McCoy), Tye Sheridan (Scott Summers), Rose Byrne (Moira MacTaggert), Sophie Turner (Jean Grey), Kodi Smitt-McPhee (Kurt Wagner), Alexandra Shipp (Ororo Munroe), Olivia Munn (Psylocke), Ben Hardy (Angel), and Oscar Isaac (En Sabah Nur)

Spoiler alert: moderate

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow, Star Wars comes out—so let's go ahead and get this done today

MACBETH

Hey, on the plus side, at least a house full of people didn't have to die to inspire this version.

2015

Directed by Justin Kurzel

Written by Jacob Koskoff, Michael Lesslie, and Todd Louiso (based on the play by William Shakespeare)

With Michael Fassbender (Macbeth), Marion Cotillard (Lady Macbeth), Paddy Considine (Banquo), David Thewliss (King Duncan), Jack Reynor (Prince Malcolm), and Sean Harris (Macduff)

Spoiler alert: get real

Yippee-ki-yay

SLOW WEST

It's awfully pretentious, like every modern Western must be, but at least Slow West isn't that slow, and it's fitfully beautiful, too, despite the many importune choices first-time feature director John Maclean makes while bringing his vision of the American West to a certain kind of life.

2015
Written and directed by John Maclean
With Michael Fassbender (Silas Selleck), Kodi Smit-McPhee (Jay Cavendish), and Caren Pistorius (Rose Ross)

Spoiler alert: moderate

The new movie with my favorite superhero is out! Also starring his son Quicksilver

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST

Future perfect.  [Insert equally dumbassed X-pun here.]

2014
Directed by Bryan Singer
Written by Simon Kinberg, Jane Goldman, and Matthew Vaughn
With Michael Fassbender (Magneto), Ian McKellan (Magneto), James McAvoy (Professor X), Patrick Stewart (Professor X), Hugh Jackman (Wolverine), Nicholas Hoult (Beast), Jennifer Lawrence (Mystique), Peter Dinklage (Bolivar Trask), and Evan Peters (Quicksilver)

Spoiler alert: moderate

I wish John Brown had nuclear weapons

12 YEARS A SLAVE

The feel bad movie of the year!  It's entirely possible, even probable, that I appear to have stolen that, though I did make it up; but that's because it is the most obvious damned thing you could say about this great movie.  And it may not be true.

2013
Directed by Steve McQueen
Written by John Ridley (based on the book by Solomon Northrup)
With Chiwetel Ejiofor (Solomon Northrup), Michael Fassbender (Edwin Epps), Lupita Nyong'o (Patsey), Benedict Cumberbatch (Ford), and Brad Pitt (the Magical Caucasian)

Spoiler alert: N/A

The J.D.: the degree so versatile you can fail to deal drugs with it too

THE COUNSELOR

I loved this movie.  You might.  They didn't.  You know who I mean.

2013
Directed by Ridley Scott
Written by Cormac McCarthy
With Michael Fassbender (The Counselor), Cameron Diaz (Malkina), Javier Bardem (Reiner), Brad Pitt (Westray), Penelope Cruz (Laura), and Ruben Blades (Jefe)

Spoiler alert: everyone either dies, should have died, or wishes they had died let's say moderate