Ice and snow

THOR: RAGNAROK

It falls into almost all of the usual Marvel movie traps—and then thrives within them anyway.

2017

Directed by Taika Waititi

Written by Eric Pearson, Craig Kyle, and Christopher Yost

With Chris Hemsworth (Thor), Mark Ruffalo (Bruce Banner), Tessa Thompson (the Valkyrie), Anthony Hopkins (Odin), Benedict Cumberbatch (Dr. Stephen Strange), Idris Elba (Heimdall), Tadanobu Asano (Hogun), Ray Stevenson (Volstagg), Zachary Levi (Fandral), Taika Waititi (Korg), Rachel House (Topaz), Jeff Goldblum (the Grandmaster), Clancy Brown (Surtur), Karl Urban (Skurge), and Cate Blanchett (Hela)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Great ape

KONG: SKULL ISLAND

Who'd have guessed that the best movie of 2017 so far was the one about bouncing goofy visual gags off the side of a giant monster?  Actually, I had an inkling.

2017

Directed by Jordan Vogt-Roberts

Written by Dan Gilroy, Max Borenstein, Derek Connolly, and John Gatins

With Terry Notary and Toby Kebbell (Kong), John C. Reilly (Lt. Hank Marlow), Corey Hawkins (Houston Brooks), Jing Tian (San Lin), Tom Hiddleston (Capt. James Conrad), Brie Larson (Mason Weaver), John Ortiz (Victor Nieves), Jason Mitchell (WO Glenn Mills), Toby Kebbell (again) (Maj. Jack Chapman), Shea Whigham (Capt. Earl Cole), John Goodman (Bill Randa), and Samuel L. Jackson (Col. Preston Packard)

Spoiler alert: mild

Steven Spielberg, part XXXIII: Fantastic beasts and where to find them

WAR HORSE

Spielberg once again goes to war, and this time he brings a horse named Joey, whom you do slowly grow to love (even if you aren't very likely to love any of the hardly-glimpsed character sketches that surround him).

2011

Directed by Steven Spielberg

Written by Lee Hall and Richard Curtis (based on the novel by Michael Morpurgo)

With Jeremy Irvine (Albert "Albie" Narracott), Emily Watson (Rose Narracott), Peter Mullan (Ted Narracott), Lyons (David Thewlis), Tom Hiddleston (Capt. James Nicholls), Benedict Cumberbatch (Maj. Jamie Stewart), and so on and so forth, there are an awful lot of people in the film, and also many horses

Spoiler alert: somewhere between moderate and high

Class war weekend, part II

HIGH-RISE

Arty to a fault, High-Rise is a largely pointless fable of the collapse of a society that hasn't existed in forty years, and although it manages to get a few palpable hits in (and some swell images), even the film's prospect of traveling back to a world that didn't destroy itself (but might've) doesn't pay off in any really serious way.

2016

Directed by Ben Wheatley

Written by Amy Jump (based on the novel by J.G. Ballard)

With Tom Hiddleston (Dr. Robert Laing), Sienna Miller (Charlotte Melville), Elisabeth Moss (Helen Wilder), Luke Evans (Richard Wilder), Keeley Hawls (Ann Royal), and Jeremy Irons (Anthony Royal)

Spoiler alert: mild

By this point, you'd think they'd be notorious

CRIMSON PEAK

Immaculately-designed boilerplate done extraordinarily well, Crimson Peak is as wonderful a Halloween treat as you could ask for—just don't expect any tricks to come with it, too.

2015
Directed by Guillermo del Toro

Written by Matthew Robins and Guillermo del Toro

With Mia Wasikowska (Edith Cushing), Tom Hiddleston (Sir Thomas Sharpe, Baronet Allerdale), Jessica Chastain (Lady Lucille Sharpe), Charlie Hunnam (Dr. Alan McMichael), and Jim Beaver (Carter Cushing)

Spoiler alert: mild

The stars are out tonight

ONLY LOVERS LEFT ALIVE

The film that teaches that suicide is never an option, at least not if you're married to Tilda Swinton—so, obviously, something we already knew.  Nonetheless, it's rather enjoyable.

2013 (them)/2014 (us)
Written and directed by Jim Jarmusch
With Tilda Swinton (Eve), Tom Hiddleston (Adam), Mia Wasikowska (Ava), and John Hurt (Kit)

Spoiler alert: mild

BUT 'CHA KNOT KING

THOR

A divinely inspired work of cinema with a real beating heart, featuring the best fantasy world in contemporary film, the best straight superhero story in any film, the best supervillain since Claude Rains wore black velvet, and the best colors of 2011, which, if I had my way, would be an Oscar category.

2011
Directed by Kenneth Branagh
Written by Ashley Miller, Zack Stentz, Don Payne, Mark Protosevich, and J. Michael Straczynski
With Chris Hemsworth (Thor), Tom Hiddleston (Loki), Natalie Portman (Jane Foster), Anthony Hopkins (Odin), Rene Russo (Frigga), Kat Dennings (Darcy Lewis), Stellan Skarsgard (Dr. Erik Selvig), Idris Elba (Heimdall), Jaime Alexander (Sif), Zachary Levi (Fandral), Ray Stevenson (Volstagg), Tadanobu Asano (Hogun), Colm Feore (Laufey), and Clark Gregg (Agent Coulson)

THOR: THE DARK WORLD

Whosoever holds this camera, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Kenneth Branagh—and of course it didn't even budge.  Yet, somehow, this sequel is a very good movie, proving how much script and performances—and probably sheer goodwill for a franchise—really do matter.

2013
Directed by Alan Taylor
Written by Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely, Christopher Yost, and Don Payne
With the same, minus Colm Feore (a void in my icy heart) and Clark Gregg (a pain like a stab in the chest), plus Christopher Eccleston (if you really, really insist)

Spoiler alert: severe for Thor, mild for The Dark World