2016 was a terrible year, I mean a God-fucking-awful year—personally, professionally, and politically. But cinematically? Not really, and I kind of wish everyone would stop acting like one year's slack summer season, redeemed by a relatively strong arthouse presence, was the end of the damned world. If for nothing else, because the end of the world came for some
us in the form of an absolutely obliterated career, a deeply uncertain future, and what amounts to a full-on midlife crisis at age 34—and, if that wasn't enough (it was enough
), the destruction of our hope for others' futures, too, thanks to a legion of scrawny Nazis, sexless Internet trolls, blacklunged Vicodin addicts, actual-literal traitors to the United States, and (let us not forget) a whole lot of feckless morons, as well, who considered themselves too pure for electoral politics. Wanna fight about it? I just saw John Wick: Chapter 2
, my blood's pumping nicely, and odds are I'm in way better shape, especially if you're one of those insufferable purity-leftists, since at least Nazis do sometimes bother to lift.
Anyway, it wasn't nearly as bad a year for film as 2015, which I still think must be the weakest since I started paying attention. 2016, by contrast, was simply okay—but at least it produced a Top Ten that doesn't look like a complete joke. (Okay, fine, it's my Top Ten, so it'll always look a little bit like a joke.)
But enough jabbering. Quickly, quickly now, before you google the Oscars and find out what the Man is telling you to think this year, I give you my best pictures for 2016—just to get it off my chest.
10. FINDING DORY
9. THE NICE GUYS
8. THE NEON DEMON
7. LA LA LAND
6. THE SHALLOWS
5. HUNT FOR THE WILDERPEOPLE
3. BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE
2. SWISS ARMY MAN