Census Bloodbath: Sure burned my beans bad on that one

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE PART 2

The Eighth (oh God) Annual Great October Switcheroo!  Once again, we're crossing over with the wonderful Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture and sometimes Alternate Ending, and I'm doing some of the 80s slashers he's catalogued as part of his Census Bloodbath project, while he's doing some of the old-timey sci-fi I've been hoarding as part of my own Cardboard Science archive.  This year, he finally gave me three pieces of the slasher genre's major arcana, such as I've been very subtly and surreptitiously hinting that I'd like to do this whole time; in return, I accidentally gave him three pieces of indecent crap.  Oops!  (But, seriously, apologies.)

1986

Directed by Tobe Hooper

Written by L.M. Kit Carson

Spoiler alert: moderate

If it was gay, bright, and beautiful, that's how Ziggy wanted it

ZIEGFELD FOLLIES

1946

Directed by Vincente Minnelli, Charles Walters, George Sidney, Lemuel Ayers, Roy Del Ruth, and Robert Lewis

Spoiler alert: inapplicable (and as I've said before, it's difficult to be brief with musicals or anthologies, and this one's both)

Desert planet

DUNE: PART ONE

2021

Directed by Denis Villeneuve

Written by Jon Spaihts, Eric Roth, and Denis Villeneuve

Spoiler alert: good golly, it's Dune

Census Bloodbath: Urban legend

FRIDAY THE 13th PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN

The Eighth (oh God) Annual Great October Switcheroo!  Once again, we're crossing over with the wonderful Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture and sometimes Alternate Ending, and I'm doing some of the 80s slashers he's catalogued as part of his Census Bloodbath project, while he's doing some of the old-timey sci-fi I've been hoarding as part of my own Cardboard Science archive.  This year, he finally gave me three pieces of the slasher genre's major arcana, such as I've been very subtly and surreptitiously hinting that I'd like to do this whole time; in return, I accidentally gave him three pieces of indecent crap.  Oops!  (But, seriously, apologies.)

1989

Written and directed by Rob Hedden

Spoiler alert: moderate

We know the limits of nature. We know—or are we just afraid to test the limits of our certainty?

THE AWAKENING

1980

Directed by Mike Newell

Written by Cliff Bryant, Allan Scott, and Clive Exton (based on the novel The Jewel of the Seven Stars by Bram Stoker)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Census Bloodbath: For Christ's sake, spare me the speech! I've listened to it for a decade

The Eighth (oh God) Annual Great October Switcheroo!  Once again, we're crossing over with the wonderful Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture and sometimes Alternate Ending, and I'm doing some of the 80s slashers he's catalogued as part of his Census Bloodbath project, while he's doing some of the old-timey sci-fi I've been hoarding as part of my own Cardboard Science archive.  This year, he finally gave me three pieces of the slasher genre's major arcana, such as I've been very subtly and surreptitiously hinting that I'd like to do this whole time; in return, I accidentally gave him three pieces of indecent crap.  Oops!  (But, seriously, apologies.)

HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS

1988

Directed by Dwight H. Little

Written by Alan B. McElroy, Danny Lipsius, Larry Rattner, and Benhamin Ruffner

Spoiler alert: moderate

The customary protests

THE LAST DUEL

2021

Directed by Ridley Scott

Written by Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and Nicole Holofcener (based on the book The Last Duel: A True Story of Trial By Combat In Medieval France by Eric Jager)

Spoiler alert: pretty much inapplicable, but I don't say who dies!

The chrysanthemums are all ready—they deserve to bloom once

THE CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER

2006

Directed by Zhang Yimou

Written by Zhihong Bian and Zhang Yimou (based, loosely, on the play Thunderstorm by Cao Yu)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Why should I feel sorry? It was Claude Daigle who got drowned, not me

THE BAD SEED

1956

Directed by Mervyn LeRoy

Written by John Lee Mahin (based on the play by Maxwell Anderson based on the novel by William March)

Spoiler alert: moderate

A rare beauty in the north

HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS

2004

Directed by Zhang Yimou

Written by Li Feng, Peter Wu, Wang Bin, and Zhang Yimou

Spoiler alert: moderate verging on high

A man walks down the street, it's a street in a strange world, maybe it's the third world, maybe it's his first time around

RIDING ALONE FOR THOUSANDS OF MILES

2005 PRC/2006 USA

Directed by Zhang Yimou

Written by Zou Jingzhi and Zhang Yimou

Spoiler alert: moderate

All under heaven

HERO

2002 PRC/2004 USA

Directed by Zhang Yimou

Written by Feng Li, Bin Wang, and Zhang Yimou

Spoiler alert: the plot's about an attempted assassination of Qin Shi Huang, so maybe it's not the biggest spoiler to say that no, it doesn't come off; otherwise, moderate