Showing posts with label 5/10. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 5/10. Show all posts

Friday, October 23, 2026

Census Bloodbath: Faces bright with Christmas fever


SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT

Thirteen Halloweens.  That's sinister, don't you think?  And that's how long we've been crossing over with Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture in the Old Switcheroo, where for the duration of October he supplements his ever-burgeoning encyclopedia of the slasher, Census Bloodbath, with a takeover of our own wholesome 50s sci-fi feature, Cardboard Science, while I get the sharper end of that bargain here.

1984
Directed by Charles E. Sellier Jr
Written by Paul Caimi, Dennis Whitehead, Scott J. Schneid, and Michael Hickey

Spoilers: moderate

Sunday, September 6, 2026

Fall of Mann


FALL II: DEADPOINT

2026
Directed by Peter Spierig and Michael Spierig
Written by Jonathan Frank and Scott Mann

Spoilers: moderate

Wednesday, June 24, 2026

Sherwood Week: Game of Capets and Roberts


ROBIN HOOD

2010
Directed by Ridley Scott
Written by Ethan Reiff, Cyrus Voris, and Brian Helgeland

Spoilers: moderate, but higher than you'd think possible in a movie described as "the origin of Robin Hood"

Monday, May 25, 2026

Sherwood Week: Grinning and baron it


THE BANDIT OF SHERWOOD FOREST

1946
Directed by Henry Levin and George Sherman
Written by Wilfred H. Pettitt and Melvin Levy

THE SON OF ROBIN HOOD

1958
Directed by George Sherman
Written by George S. Slavin and George W. George (no, really)

Spoilers for either: moderate

Tuesday, May 19, 2026

One battle after another


MORTAL KOMBAT

1995
Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson
Written by Kevin Droney (based on the video game by Ed Boon and John Tobias)

Spoilers: moderate

Monday, April 6, 2026

Reviews from gulag: Get behind me 2025 (part 1?)

More capsule or at least capsulish reviews as we finally finish cleaning up the movies of the previous year, three months and change into the new one.  Herein we discuss Resurrection, House of Dynamite, Black Bag, and The Running Man.

RESURRECTION

Can you guess the theme of these five graybles?  I didn't, despite it being exactly as childishly simple as The Senses, which I choose to hold against the movie rather than myself because it did "taste" twice; or at least it obscured "touch"—the segment with vampires is the one that does "touch"—though since that one is also the long take with the stabilized camera, maybe that was intended to expand our consciousness and include "the vestibular."

Resurrection is legitimately less than the sum of its parts, as sometimes happens with anthologies, and I'm not even altogether sold on most of the parts, though the opening is pretty nifty and seems like it ought to be in possession of a more interesting movie following on from it, not so much because of its framing narrative (that framing narrative—"IN A WORLD WHERE DREAMS ARE AGAINST THE LAW, ONE MAN IS A CINEPHILE"—is, I'm sorry, as off-puttingly wanky as it gets), but because it's a fascinating pastiche of silent cinema and early silent cinema at that, remarkably opting not to surrender color nor even allowing itself to be restrained by the primitive limitations of early color processes (though handschiegl and general-issue tinting are, nevertheless, 100% evoked), but still very much managing to remind you of early Technicolor despite blatantly surpassing its capabilities, and bridging the rest of the gap with aspect ratio, shot selection, what amounts to basically non-editing, set design, obviously that framerate, and some good old Meliesisms.  Very cool, and I was a bit stoked to see how the advent of sound was treated as Jackson Yee, playing a dreamer in various guises in various dreams, is explicitly sent on a death odyssey through history, generally, and the history of film, specifically, an art form well known for its engagement of all of the five senses.

Tuesday, March 31, 2026

Reviews from gulag: Kinda dropped the ball on the Best Picture nominees this year, wonder why that could be, I place so must trust in the Academy and its judgment

I mean, part of the reason might be the rather underwhelming slate of Best Picture nominees this past year, and in fairness to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, they were confronted with a deeply underwhelming year in 2025—though I think we could all name some very obvious snubs that range from "irritating" (Die My Love) to "irritating as well as confusing" (The Testament of Ann Lee) to "earnestly outraging" (Avatar: Fire and Ash, 2025's very-clear-to-me actual best film, essentially the co-equal second half of a movie that was in fact nominated for Best Picture in 2022), especially given what did make the grade.  (I have not to date seen Marty Supreme, Sentimental Value, or Hamnet, and in all likelihood shall not see them.)  Anyway, hopeless as its nomination was—I mean, are you really just filling slots?—F1 forever, everybody!  I guess!  All in all, at least the Oscars were less of a sick joke than they were last time.

Nevertheless, apart from the nominees that already got full reviews (F1, Bugonia, GDT's dreadful Frankenstein), I did see these four: One Battle After Another, Sinners, The Secret Agent, and Train Dreams.  I only regret watching one of them, which, hey, is progress, but then 2025's problem as a film year was never that it produced too many bad movies (some of this is probably that I just watched fewer, but the worst movie I saw this past year still got a 4/10 out of me) but that it produced very few great ones.  Well, the following are edits, hopefully relatively slight edits—hopefully no more than the (tedious) work of writing some synopsis copy for them—of Letterboxd capsules I already wrote (of course, as I knew what most of 'em were ultimately intended for, they're perhaps less capsule-sized than that should indicate, though less interminable than usual, to be sure).

ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER

In an alternate 2020s following on from an alternate 2000s, that was originally an alternate 1990s following on from an alternate 1970s—and undoubtedly made more sense that way—the former revolutionary currently known as Bob Ferguson (Leonardo DiCaprio) has gone to ground, raising his kid Willa (Chase Infiniti) as a single father in the years since Willa's mother and Bob's former comrade Perfidia Beverly Hills (Teyana Taylor) betrayed their resistance group under duress in part administered by jackbooted thug Steven Lockjaw (Sean Penn), who leveraged her into sex and then leveraged her out of prison, leaving her to flee to parts unknown to either of the men in her life, or her child.  As for that child, there's a bit of ambiguity about that, of course, and as Lockjaw's star rises in the white supremacist movement that now runs these United States, he sets out to resolve that ambiguity with extreme prejudice.

Now, it's nice of the movie to finally start after clearing its throat for a fucking hour; and I'm confounded (I mean, not really, but if I'd been frozen in 2008 and this was the very first thing I'd been shown—no news, no history—after being revived in 2026, I would have been confounded) that people would be crawling over broken glass to call it a masterpiece and give it awards, eventually culminating in its undeserved-even-in-these-circumstances Best Picture victory.  I mean, let's even leave aside the astoundingly cringeworthy elements of that first hour, such as get thrown down like a gauntlet within the first few minutes ("oh, pish-tosh, you're exaggerating for the sake of content" I might've said, but if so, just barely); no, let's leave that aside.  That first hour, or maybe it's only forty-five minutes, is as disastrous an exercise in pacing as I could readily imagine, totally fumbling the challenge this story presents, which is that it has something akin to an actual story's worth of backstory—basically Lust, Caution: ICE Edition—to get out of the way, but that it can't tell an actual story with, because its priority is, at least hypothetically, to get to the actual movie.  It handles this challenge with a completely inadequate combination: a wrenching, merciless efficiency at the task of laying out its two prefatory plot points without hardly any emotional anchor to them, doing it as essentially all-montage yet somehow circling around and around and, despite what seems like an effort at doing it quickly, managing to make relating these two plot points a full third of the feature's running time.  And, likewise, let's be real, that running time is manifestly unacceptable even by the absent standards of the 2020s—a cisapocalyptic action thriller set in a world only two steps away from our own cisapocalyptic reality, in other words basically an exploitation movie, with a plot that any movie ought to be able to execute in less than two hours (and could be done in 100 minutes, even with this unusually-complicated backstory), and is, effectively, just fuckin' Commando*, yet which in his infinite auteur indulgence and frankly blasphemous levels of hubris writer/director/albatross-on-my-neck Paul Thomas Anderson has positively refused to cut down from a bleary-eyed 162 minutes.  This is the case even when there's very obvious things that could be cut: at least some fraction of the five-to-ten-minute denouement at the end, whereupon I groaned, "why the fuck is Steven Lockjaw still alive? why in the world does he have a fucking coda where he just dies again?", or consider the momentum-annihilating scene with Lockjaw's fascist junta, the Fathers of Christmas or whatever idiotic thing they were called (oh, let me look it up, ah, it's the Knights of White Satan), a little over halfway through, whereupon Anderson's screenplay re-explains the previous hour and a half's three plot points, and does so in what feels like real time.

Saturday, November 15, 2025

Tuesday, November 11, 2025

It's a t-rex, they've been around since, I dunno, the 90s?


JURASSIC WORLD DOMINION

2022
Directed by Colin Trevorrow
Written by Derek Connolly, Emily Carmichael, and Colin Trevorrow

Spoilers: moderate

Friday, October 31, 2025

Census Bloodbath: Hello, nurse


VISITING HOURS

It's Halloween again, and for our 12th annual Switcheroo with Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture, we're doing what we always do this time of year when we turn the tables on one another: he takes over my Cardboard Science feature and reviews some of those corny mid-century sci-fi movies, and I do some fieldwork for Brennan's Census Bloodbath, as he gives me a slate of sick 80s slasher flicks from his ever-expanding encyclopedia of death.  This year we're back to full power, with three psyche-scarring films of Brennan's selection.

1982
Directed by Jean-Claude Lord
Written by Brian Taggert

Spoilers: moderate

Thursday, October 9, 2025

Mentally ill from Amityville: 28 days later


THE AMITYVILLE HORROR

1979
Directed by Stuart Rosenberg
Written by Sandor Stern (based on the book by Jay Anson)

Spoilers: moderate, but sort of inapplicable, right?

Friday, September 5, 2025

What about Bob?


THUNDERBOLTS*

2025
Directed by Jake Schreier
Written by Eric Pearson and Joanna Calo

Spoilers: moderate unto highish

Sunday, August 10, 2025

The ultimate nullifier


THE FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS

2025
Directed by Matt Shakman
Written by Kat Wood, Josh Friedman, Eric Pearson, Jeff Kaplan, and Ian Springer

Spoilers: high

Monday, July 14, 2025

Even now, when time has dulled the impression and made me half question my own experience and horrible doubts, there are things in that letter of Akeley’s which I would not quote


THE WHISPERER IN DARKNESS

2011
Directed Sean Branney
Written by Andrew Leman and Sean Branney (based on the story by H.P. Lovecraft)

plus "The Call of Cthulhu" (2005), written and directed by same

Spoilers: moderate

Tuesday, July 1, 2025

Do better


CAPTAIN AMERICA: BRAVE NEW WORLD

2025
Directed by Julius Onah
Written by Rob Edwards, Malcolm Spellman, Dalan Musson, Peter Glanz, and Julius Onah

Spoilers: moderate

Monday, May 5, 2025

Walt Disney, part LXVI: Disney Princess enchanted tales


ENCHANTED

2007
Directed by Kevin Lima
Written by Bill Kelly, Rita Hsiao, Todd Alcott, Bob Schooley, and Mark McCorkle

Spoilers: high