She was shakin'

THE TESTAMENT OF ANN LEE

2025

Directed by Mona Fastvold

Written by Brady Corbet and Mona Fastvold

Spoilers: inapplicable

Reach out and touch someone

BLACK PHONE 2

2025

Directed by Scott Derrickson

Written by C. Robert Cargill and Scott Derrickson

Spoilers: moderate (though I make some implications that could, conceivably, be construed as "high" spoilers)

Census Bloodbath: You have a 20th century mind—you may soon regret it

SUPERSTITION

aka The Witch

It's Halloween again, and for our 12th annual Switcheroo with Brennan Klein of Popcorn Culture, we're doing what we always do this time of year when we turn the tables on one another: he takes over my Cardboard Science feature and reviews some of those corny mid-century sci-fi movies, and I do some fieldwork for Brennan's Census Bloodbath, as he gives me a slate of sick 80s slasher flicks from his ever-expanding encyclopedia of death.  This year we're back to full power, with three psyche-scarring films of Brennan's selection.

1985

Directed by James W. Roberson

Written by Michael O. Sajbel, Bret Thompson Plate, Brad White, and Donald G. Thompson

Spoilers: moderate

Mentally ill from Amityville: Auto DeFeo

AMITYVILLE II: THE POSSESSION

1982

Directed by Damiano Damiani

Written by Tommy Lee Wallace and Dardano Sacchetti (based on Murder In Amityville by Hans Holzer)

Spoilers: moderate, or high, or inapplicable?

Mentally ill from Amityville: 28 days later

THE AMITYVILLE HORROR

1979

Directed by Stuart Rosenberg

Written by Sandor Stern (based on the book by Jay Anson)

Spoilers: moderate, but sort of inapplicable, right?

When will you make an end?

THE AGONY AND THE ECSTASY

1965

Directed by Carol Reed

Written by Philip Dunne (based on the novel by Irving Stone)

Spoilers: Michelangelo did, in fact, finish the Sistine Chapel ceiling

Hanumania

MONKEY MAN

2024

Directed by Dev Patel

Written by Paul Angunawela, John Collee, and Dev Patel

Spoilers: moderate

The clown is down: It's just me and you, remember? It's just me and you, and we're in the same business—we make people happy

TERRIFIER 3

2024

Written and directed by Damien Leone

Spoilers: moderate

Don't stop believing

HERETIC

2024

Written and directed by Scott Beck and Bryan Woods

Spoilers: moderate

Nightmare Week: Welcome to prime time, bitch

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS

1987

Directed by Chuck Russell

Written by Wes Craven, Bruce Wagner, Frank Darabont, and Chuck Russell

Spoilers: moderate

A cabin in the woods

KNOCK AT THE CABIN

2023

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan

Written by Steve Desmond, Michael Sherman, and M. Night Shyamalan (based on the novel The Cabin At the End of the World by Paul G. Tremblay)

Spoilers: high

Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z: Almighty bomb

BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE APES

1970

Directed by Ted Post

Written by Paul Dehn and Mort Abrahams

Spoilers: severe

Chimpan-A to chimpan-Z: You who are reading me now are a different breed, I hope a better one

PLANET OF THE APES

1968

Directed by Franklin J. Schaffner

Written by Rod Serling, Michael Wilson, and John T. Kelly (based on the novel by Pierre Boulle)

Spoilers: oh, c'mon

Walt Disney, part L: It's not my fault, if in God's plan, he made the Devil so much stronger than a man

THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME

1996

Directed by Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise

Written by Tab Murphy, Irene Mecchi, Bob Tzudiker, Noni White, and Jonathan Roberts (based on the novel Notre-Dame de Paris by Victor Hugo)

Spoilers: high

May thy knife chip and shatter

DUNE: PART TWO

2024

Directed by Denis Villeneuve

Written by John Spaihts and Denis Villeneuve (based on Dune by Frank Herbert)

Spoilers: it's still just Dune, bros

Disney's Challengers, part VIII: Dog damn

ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN

1989

Directed by Don Bluth (co-directed by Gary Goldman and John Pomeroy)

Written by David N. Weiss and zillion other people

Spoilers: moderate

Put a little love in your heart

SCROOGED

1988

Directed by Richard Donner

Written by Mitch Glazer, Michael O'Donoghue, and Bill Murray (based on the novella A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens)

Spoilers: high, but also inapplicable, right?

Spirit Week: Do you know who killed you?

THE MYSTIC

1925, directed by Tod Browning and written by Tod Browning and Waldemar Young

THE THIRTEENTH CHAIR

1929, directed by Tod Browning and written by Elliot J. Clawson

THE THIRTEENTH CHAIR

1937, directed by George B. Seitz and written by Marion Parsonnet

Spoilers: moderate

American Gothic Week: Nine eternities in doom!

THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES

1971

Directed by Robert Fuest

Written by James Whiton, William Goldstein, and Robert Fuest

Spoilers: mild

Spirit Week: The living and the so-called dead

THE DEVIL COMMANDS

1941

Directed by Edward Dmytryk

Written by William Sloane, Robert Hardy Andrew, and Milton Gunzberg (based on the novel The Edge of Running Water by William Sloane)

Spoilers: moderate