Walt Disney, part LVII: His groove! The rhythm by which he lives his life, his pattern of behavior—I threw it off!

THE EMPEROR'S NEW GROOVE

2000

Directed by Mark Dindal

Written by David Reynolds, Chris Williams, and Mark Dindal

Spoilers: moderate

They love whom they penalize; they bring into disrepute whom they applaud; they extol the art, and brand the artist with disgrace

GLADIATOR

2000

Directed by Ridley Scott

Written by David Franzoni, John Logan, and William Nicholson

Spoilers: severe

Walt Disney, part LVI: I believe you left a wake-up call for the dawn of time?

DINOSAUR

2000

Directed by Ralph Zondag and Eric Leighton

Written by John Harrison, Robert Nelson Jacobs, Walon Green, et al

Spoilers: moderate

Walt Disney, part LV: Mars and beyond

MISSION TO MARS

2000

Directed by Brian De Palma

Written by Lowell Cannon, Jim Thomas, John Thomas, and Graham Yost

Spoilers: high

Walt Disney, part LIV: Pompous circumstance

FANTASIA 2000

2000

Directed by Don Hahn, Pixote Hunt, Hendel Butoy, Eric Goldberg, James Algar, Francis Glebas, Paul Brizzi, and Gaёtan Brizzi

Spoilers: moderate, I guess

This part won't be like a comic book

UNBREAKABLE

One of the best superhero movies is one of the smallest; less surprisingly, one of the best M. Night Shyamalan movies is one of the earliest.

2000

Written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan

Spoiler alert: severe

Darren Aronofsky, part II: Winners don't use drugs

REQUIEM FOR A DREAM

Because drugs are bad.  But the movie's still great.

2000

Directed by Darren Aronofsky

Written by Hubert Selby, Jr. and Darren Aronofsky (based on the novel by Selby)

With Ellen Burstyn (Sara Goldfarb), Marlon Wayans (Tyrone Love), Jennifer Connelly (Marion Silver), Jared Leto (Harry Goldfarb), Keith David ("Big Tim"), and Christopher MacDonald (Tappy Tibbons)

Spoiler alert: mild

Robert Zemeckis, part XIII: The sun will rise

CAST AWAY

Movies about existential terror don't come much better than this one, and in the rare case they actually do, it's only because they're the same movie, except set in space.

2000

Directed by Robert Zemeckis

Written by William Broyles, Jr.

With Tom Hanks (Chuck Noland), Helen Hunt (Kelly Frears), Chris Noth (Dr. Jerry Lovett), and Wilson (himself) (yes, he's really credited)

Spoiler alert: high

Robert Zemeckis, part XII: The lady in the water

WHAT LIES BENEATH

Robert Zemeckis turns an abject lack of surprise into a decent-enough thriller, with one scene that's truly worthy of a master; but, otherwise, the very best that What Lies Beneath ever offers is only its sense of comfortable familiarity.

2000

Directed by Robert Zemeckis

Written by Clark Gregg and Sarah Kernochan

With Michelle Pfeiffer (Claire Spencer), Harrison Ford (Norman Spencer), Miranda Otto (Mary Feur), James Remar (Warren Feur), Diana Scarwid (Jody), Joe Morton (Dr. Drayton), and Amber Valletta (Madison Frank)

Spoiler alert: moderate, unless you've never seen a movie before, in which case "high"

Impossible Week, part II: Just stay alive! I'm not going to lose you!

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE II

What if Notorious had explosions and kind of sucked?  At the turn of the millennium, Tom Cruise and John Woo answered the question no one asked, and for some reason, we all really loved it at the time.

2000
Directed by John Woo
Written by Robert Towne, Ronald D. Moore, and Brannon Braga
With Tom Cruise (Ethan Hunt), Thandie Newton (Nyah Nordoff-Hall), Anthony Hopkins (Mission Commander Swanbeck), Ving Rhames (Luther Stickell), Dougray Scott (Sean Ambrose), Richard Roxburgh (Hugh Stamp), and Brendan Gleeson (John C. McCloy)

Spoiler alert: high

Dispassionately and exactingly ranking the films of Christopher Nolan by their utilitarian value, nos. 6-4

The Internet asks, "Is Christopher Nolan the greatest director alive?"  And the answer is, "No, of course he's not.  Are you high?"  But if the question were, instead, "Is Chris Nolan the most consistently excellent director working today?", there are nine films to consider, and the answer might be quite different.  (Okay, the point is, I marathoned his movies, and now you're just going to have to deal with it.)

Spoiler alert: well, I don't spoil Interstellar, anyway (certainly at no more than a moderate level)