It hadn’t come to him, the knowledge, on the wings of experience; it had brushed him, jostled him, upset him, with the disrespect of chance, the insolence of accident

THE BEAST

2024

Directed by Bertrand Bonello

Written by Benjamin Charbit, Guillaume Bréaud, and Bertrand Bonello (based on the novella "The Beast In the Jungle" by Henry James)

Spoilers: moderate

Get your ass to Mars

MARS EXPRESS

2023 eux/2024 nous

Directed by Jérémie Périn

Written by Laurent Safarti and Jérémie Périn

Spoilers: moderate

Back in the habit

BENEDETTA

2021

Directed by Paul Verhoeven

Written by David Birke, Pascal Bonitzer, and Paul Verhoeven (based on the book Immodest Acts: The Life of a Lesbian Nun In Renaissance Italy by Judith C. Brown)

Spoilers: moderate

Damn your pores!

OXYGEN

aka Oxygène

2021

Directed by Alexandre Aja

Written by Christie LeBlanc

Spoiler alert: moderate

Dancing about architecture

PLAYTIME

1967

Directed by Jacques Tati

Written by Jacques Lagrange, Art Buchwald, and Jacques Tati

Spoiler alert: oh, very inapplicable

Please Mr. Kennedy, don't shoot me into outer space

HIGH LIFE

Man, fuck this shit.

2019

Directed by Claire Denis

Written by Jean-Pol Fargeau and Claire Denis

Spoiler alert: moderate

Sans soleil

THE DEATH OF LOUIS XIV
La mort de Louis XIV

If you fell asleep, it wouldn't be your fault, but The Death of Louis XIV has better reasons for being boring than the typical exercise in pretension—French or otherwise—and if you don't want to be bored while it's on, well, perhaps try actually looking at it.

2016 (France)/2017 (USA)

Directed by Albert Serra

Written by Thierry Lounas and Albert Serra
With Jean-Pierre Leaud (Louis XIV Bourbon) and Patrick d'Assumcao (Dr. Fagon)

Spoiler alert: if you can't read, then I can't spoil it for you with a written review, can I?

I like these little calm moments before the storm

LEON

Would you believe that a Luc Besson movie has serious problems?  It's true!

1994

Written and directed by Luc Besson

With Jean Reno (Leon), Natalie Portman (Mathilda), and Gary Oldman (Stansfield)

Spoiler alert: moderate

Telegraph for Robert De Niro: stop

THE FAMILY

Another one of these Goddamned movies where we're supposed to think Robert De Niro is funny because he's Robert De Niro.  Also, turns out Luc Besson hates France.  This is sort of a French movie.  I don't hate France, but I am disappointed in it.

2013
Directed by Luc Besson
Written by Michael Caleo and Luc Besson (based on the book by Tonino Benacquista)
With Robert De Niro (Giovanni/"Fred Blake"), Michelle Pfeiffer ("Maggie Blake"), Diana Agron ("Belle Blake"), John D'Leo ("Warren Blake"), and Tommy Lee Jones (Robert Stansfield)

Spoiler alert: mild